Friday, February 2, 2018

Lost in Love

I sit with my boyfriend Robert at the Krishna Das concert surrounded by 100’s of people chanting the names of God.  How easy it is to get lost in the spinning of our daily lives but this day I chose to un-plug from the world and listen to what my body needed. As I focus inward and sing the names of the Beloved, a power moves through and my heart melts wide open. In the stillness within a crowded arena, I feel a mysterious connection between my small, tender heart and the vast spirit of the Universe. The tears gently roll down my cheeks and in a quiet way I feel more alive than moments before. I know the yearning of this human heart of mine and even though life is chaotic, changing and sometimes messy, the way of the heart can draw me into the unknown where it’s shaky and vulnerable. I hear the spiritual Cupid whispering into my ear, “Let go, fall in love.”

I gaze over the crowd and hear Robert humming to the songs with his eyes closed and face turned upward in complete bliss. I listen to Krishna Das begin to speak of Christ who lost himself in love. All I can hear and feel inside of me is, lost in love, lost in love. I continue to soften as my gaze inward touches that tender little girl who knows the way to love.

As I write these words, I remember as a child, cutting out the Valentine’s cards. One by one I wrote the names of all my classmates. A moment where the passage of time felt like eternity and I couldn’t wait to receive those exciting red hearts or candies the next day. Sometimes my basket wasn’t as full as I returned home after school. Sometimes I felt sadness because I wasn’t given the heart from someone I liked, but loving the act of giving was a great practice for me. It was just another day to offer love in the simple kindness of the heart.

So here we are, another day to make love to the world, offering the gift of presence. I can fill myself up with pure unconditional tenderness and get lost in love and see the world with compassion. Maybe that’s enough, just to receive until we are so full and the reflection of our heart spills out into others. Just like that incredible ‘super blue blood moon’ that filled our night sky just days ago.

Happy Valentine’s Day My Beloveds
Love Frannie

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

Another year has gone by, filled with memories as I decorate the tree once again. It's the same decorations yet when I take them out of the box, one by one, I look at them and hold them with great intention. Each one brings me a smile, a feeling, a thought and sometimes a tear that fills me up with all that life holds for me in the moment. I place the crystal dove on the branch and it never fails, the vision of my mother walking through the front door with her smile, so happy to give me this special ornament. The moment becomes alive with her presence and even though she has been gone for almost a decade, her love fills me with that beautiful memory. I continue to place the crystal icicles on the branches, hearing the voice of my husband Steve, who left this world 4 ½ years ago, telling me how these precious pieces of glass were made. His stories run through my mind as I take out the fishing Santa Clause or the many fish with wild smiles and cartoon like faces. I touch the little ballerina dressed in white and place it by the white tree ornament and my daughters smile grabs me like the moment she found it in the store and picked it just for her. The singing Elvis makes its way out of the box as I remember my son, finding that figurine to adorn our tree. 
There is so much love from friends and family hanging on my tree as I turn on the lights and darken the room. I sit on the couch with Robert,  gazing at the beauty that brings me home to all of the Christmas's of years gone by. I am filled with wonder, like a child. The lights of every color reflecting in the clear glass balls, pulls me in and I am lost in the presence of creation.
Can we be like a child and open to the day with wonder and curiosity? Can we allow the moment to bring us something new as we look in to the eyes of the ones before us? Too often we arrive with ideas and thoughts of criticism and judgments that only block our hearts to what truly is here for our highest good. Life is full of surprises and with our willingness to listen, we can receive the truth that can guide our way like the brightest star shining in the night sky. 
May we open the present of this moment with a grateful heart, holding the hands of the ones that we are with and listen. Let us be open to receiving this incredible life that love offers us. Let us be the prayer for peace as we welcome in the new and arrive here now, conscious and awake to be the instrument used for the highest good of all.
Take a deep breath inward as you settle into your body. 
Be curious about what is here within you as you enter the body with full awareness.
Feel yourself most tenderly and allow the moment to bring you deeper.
This body, so precious holds all that is waiting to be let go of. 
Feel your breath inside breathing you.
 Sink deeply into the heaviness of the physical.
 The quiet of the moment calls your name as I AM.
Here you merge with the oneness of all things where nothing is hidden.
As the false burdens fall away.
Rest now.
You have arrived back home to your heart where God is.
Your soul is unique and longing to enter this world with a childlike nature.
Open this day like a present and walk beautifully on this magnificent earth.
Love is all around you. 
May you be blessed and find a wonderful love in yourself.
Now share it as you touch the heart of humanity with your gaze and with your words.
Happy Holidays!

Monday, November 13, 2017

A Joyful Celebration with Life

It’s quite another world, walking the streets of Sicily as the energy begins to come from everything I see, touch or hear. I feel like time is standing still all around me as the cobblestone path below my feet keeps me present. I have practiced being more present with all the falls and stumbles I have had walking while distracted by so much to see and take in. I stand and watch the faces of the men and women who joined Robert and I for our first Nourish Your Body, Mind and Soul tour. Sharing this adventure with others just seems to amplify the experience. My heart gets so full as I gaze into the eyes of the ones that seem like children, soaking in the new life of these very special days.

We are surrounded by ancient history with the churches and all the different styles to caves where tombs were still visible thousands of years before Christ. We enjoyed the 400 year Aztec tradition of Sicilian chocolate making as we walked down the streets of Modica. I loved sitting at the archeological site in Syracuse, where ancient Greek ruins created the sacred space as we meditated together overlooking the sparkling blue Mediterranean Sea. The temples, so massive and mosaics so old yet still vibrant in color and detail. The artist in me was inspired. Then after taking in the art of these artisans in medieval towns built in the rocks of mountains, we would listen to our guides tell us the stories of ancient times. We walked and climbed and together moved from big cities to little historic towns. Everyday we were nourished by the energy of the present moment with circle of light meditations and yoga. We ate like kings and queens as our chefs, including Robert, shared special dishes from Sicily and even the gluten free people were happy with every detail and sensitivity acknowledged so that everyone had an amazing dining experience. It surely was an Italian culinary tour with the nourishment of so much more.

We, as a group became family with each other and the beautiful souls of Sicily who took care of our every need. How blessed we were to travel to this place together and share such a rich and transforming experience. There is so much to see in this incredible world and as we all looked deeply at ourselves we softened the hold on some of our own past and let go into our greater beings. What a beautiful journey we had together.

We won’t forget the smiles of the Sicilian people as we found out how we are all soul family just waiting to meet each other as the ancient world met us with open arms and we welcomed in the new.

This is the month of thanksgiving as my grateful heart humbly bows down and I say,
Happy Thanksgiving

With love,

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Fall in Love with Life

"Love is always patient and kind; love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful...Love is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes." Corinthians
Fall is coming and with the all the energy of August's two eclipses, with the Full moon on the 7th and the Solar Eclipse on the 21st,this is a force for change as we tap into the deeper qualities of presence. We can become a clearer space for our everyday living.
It's been a powerful time for me as I let go of some of my old dreams as well as cleaning out my closets and drawers. The biggest letting go for me is finishing the book I have been writing since Steve transitioned 4 years ago. Reading the words that I wrote daily that helped me grieve now seems like I am using the spirit of death as an ally. I am inspired by all that released the emotional baggage I was carrying around before and after his death. Through it all, I realized more deeply how the feeling of fear can take over and swallow me up in a blink of an eye. In the pain of all that was changing it was very difficult to see or even imagine the new self I was becoming. My mind would replay every detail of all the bad moments until I was exhausted. My conscious breath would land me back into the present moment where I was safe inside again. Despite all of my endless limitations I could return to the feeling of being new and become one with the energy of God or the Divine.
Falling in love with life can be one day at a time. Our spiritual field is rich and fertile when we let go of what just doesn't work anymore and we can become ready to release the richness that this life offers us. It's so easy to overthink our life until we feel stagnant and overwhelmed. Sometimes the only way to find out what is ahead is for us to step into the unknown which can build confidence for this life that is unfolding.
We don't have to go out and search for love. We just need to be still and let love in. Love will find us. As the Bible says, "Perfect love casts out all fear."

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Summer Breeze

I receive a phone call and the news on the other end takes me by surprise. I know what to do. I know that staying present is what I need. I listen deeply. I feel my fears begin to show and yet listening brings me deeper inside. I watch my mind dive into the past. I hear a voice that begins to worry about the future. I breathe and listen to the moment. How easy it is to slip away into the mind that seems to keep me a prisoner of the past! The conversation was cut short and I was left in worry. It just doesn't feel good to obsess in that mind that thinks it knows what I need to do.

I set the phone down and I feel myself. Slowly I walk outside. The touch of a summer breeze gently brings me back to the moment as I take my walk outside to my lanai. I pray for peace and clarity as my eyes gaze in front of me and there is the largest butterfly spread against the screen. I am reminded that this world is being used by God to bring healing. I feel the quiet come over me like the hand of God just lifted me up into a sweet embrace. I stared at this gift that spoke to me of transformation. I felt touched by this love from the heavens that filled me with hope.
In the moment of this stillness, I remembered a time when I was filled with confusion about a major life decision. I had been on a retreat at Mt. Shasta, California. A week of introspection and transformation. After the week of intense letting go, a few of us decided to go camping for a couple of days before heading back home.
I woke up that morning with a high fever and flu-like symptoms. My head was pounding and I knew that I couldn't join the group of friends that were going to hike up the mountain. After everyone left I decided to walk down the path to a stream. It was a hot summer day and with the way I was feeling, I needed to get out of the heat. I could hear the sound of water rushing over rocks in the distance. It was like music calling me and guiding me to come. As I got closer, I could feel the summer breeze that gently moved over the meadow. I couldn't wait to slip into the stream. I slowly made my way into the freezing cold water that was flowing from further up the mountain. Surely there was snow way up high where my friends were hiking.
I fully lowered myself into the icy water and laid there until I couldn't stay any longer. I made my way to the river bank and sat cross legged. It was so quiet and peaceful. I began to stare at the little bush in front of me. As I focused my attention on the leaves I saw this bush was filled with bees. So many bees were sitting on the leaves and branches, buzzing around. I thought of St. Francis of Assisi who would be a magnet for all kinds of wild life. He would be so still and allow the energy of all beings to come close. Birds would sit on him as if he were branches of a tree. Animals of all kind would never be intimidated by his presence.
I closed my eyes and without fear of being stung I knew that in my own stillness I was filled with peace. I breathed into the moment, communing with the lovely bees that were on the branches and leaves before me. Then I slowly felt guided to open my eyes and now all those bees were sitting on me. I was covered with them and some were buzzing around me. I continued to breathe in and out calmly and settled more deeply inside. It felt like their presence on my skin moved me deeply into my body. I had no busy or aggressive mind hindering my receptivity. I was overflowing with a profound joy. I wanted to laugh out loud but I didn't want to move. I felt a calm so deep within me that the experience was so full of life. Then slowly the bees lifted off like they were helicopters taking flight. One by one, I watched these insects leave as they went on their merry way.
I was in gratitude of what happened, as obstacles that might have been in me before were now dissolved. I got up and walked back to the camp site and I felt well. My fever was gone and my energy was back. It was as if these bees were pulling out my sickness with their presence.
Sometimes a gentle touch is all we need. We just want to be touched because it heals us. We carry a whole world full of experience as we walk through the streets of our ordinary lives. As we brush up against each other, we are touched by a gaze, a smile, a thought or words. Touch can be the language of love for another and in giving we are receiving.
When life brings me to my knees as I watch my children on their own climb up the mountain top, I can listen. It is the language of the heart that speaks from this unending stream of consciousness where I can become still and wait. The truth of my own deepest being is touching me and guiding my way back to love. 

All my love,