Within Us All

Forever and ever you'll stay in my heart

And I will love you
Forever and ever we never shall part
Oh, how I'll love you

-written by Burt Bacharach and Hal Davis for Dionne Warwick

My sisters and I sang this song by Dionne Warwick to our mother each day when we were with her before she died suddenly of a stroke. Mom had Alzheimer’s and caring for her wasn’t always easy. She would be in her own tormented inner world but the moment we would converge together singing as loud as we could, I say a little prayer for you…she would smile from ear to ear. The joy we felt singing the song was contagious and mom would shift into a laugh no matter what was going on with her. That song helped us shift too and for a moment we would all forget the hardships we were going through.

It has been over 3 years since my mother’s passing and whenever I feel low, tired of life, fearful of what is happening in the world, I call out to my mom and ask for help. Out of the blue that song would appear as I would turn on my radio or sometimes it comes blasting from an unknown source, even someone’s open car window. I have no doubt that her spirit comes through in a way to comfort me to say “I am here”. I have heard spirit speak to me in all kinds of ways since I was a young woman and as the truth chills move up and down my spine or an overwhelming peace fills my moment, I know that I am guided by a power that knows what I need. How do I know? I just know.

I didn’t understand the gift I had as a medium until one of my best girlfriend’s died suddenly of an aneurism over 30 years ago. Her name was Debbie. Let me bring you into that moment that changed my life forever.

I sit in a room with Debbie’s dead body. Nothing was more important to me than being with her again. So here I sit, alone with death.

No one can tell you what it feels like to be with someone you love who has just died but I will try. As my great friend Debbie laid lifeless before me, I began to speak to her. The intimacy I felt was familiar as I shared with her feelings from deep within my being.

I felt held in a love from beyond this world. In that moment Debbie was both a friend and a teacher, showing me that she was so much more than a body. This experience with my dear friend marked the beginning of my path to spirit.

It started when Debbie’s mother, devastated at the way they prepared her body for the viewing – she thought they made her look like an old lady – asked me to give Debbie a quick make-over. I don’t know what came over me but even though I was trembling inside and walking on shaky ground I had a feeling that took over and I said yes I would help. It was the final gift I could give my sweet Debbie. I knew how she liked to present herself to the world.

As I set about styling my friend, the entire room was transformed into a sacred holy place. I fixed her hair, put makeup on her face and nail polish on her fingernails. Each touch was the most precious of all moments as I tenderly cared for my friend. Though her skin was cold, I felt the warmth of her spirit there in the room with me.

Her spirit danced around the room, free and larger than she ever could be in her petite five foot body. Her spirit was alive. At that time, this experience was beyond comprehension for me. As her love spoke to my heart, I felt her in every cell of my being. I looked down at her peaceful face. How beautiful she was and she never really knew it. I think, “How perfect she is!” and feel privileged to touch her for the very last time. I bent down and kissed her. I thank her for being my friend and for loving me and supporting me.

I see her with her hair fixed and her makeup just right and those perfect nails that she worked so hard at growing. She looked beautiful in her death and full of life in her spirit.

It was after my son was born and I would rock him in the wee hours of the night, I would feel Debbie’s presence and see her walk in front of me looking young and full of light. Her visitations began and slowly I would open and listen to the sweetness of her communication. There were no words, only love and peace. I felt her there helping me to know that we are not alone and able to join with our spirit loved ones.

Debbie’s death was the catalyst that brought me to my purpose. My gift is to serve as a conduit, a connector to help people find their way back to their open heart.

I am no longer afraid of death. I owe this peace to all who have come to me during and after their transition. I have been shown the other side or “rooms” on the other side of the veil. As I move more deeply inside my connection to myself, the focused attention brings me beyond the confines of my human body and into the experience of our light body. This feeling is so freeing.

My meditation practice has helped me to trust that spirit is always waiting for me to be quiet enough to send me a message that could assist me. I have no doubt that this way of being is important for us all. As each of us are used in our own unique way to help the planet wake-up to the deeper meaning of life.

When I take my gaze inward, breathing consciously into this moment, I can feel myself let go of everything I think I know and enter inside as I reside at the entrance to my heart. I begin to soften and ground into my body and out of my head. I become the doorway to other worlds beyond this one. The veil lifts and my focus shifts into a feeling of oneness with everything around me as all of me within is joined in an infinite light that joins me with spirit. It really doesn’t matter if I recognize the messenger. I invite spirit in as my awaited guest. I listen deeply to the silence of my mind as my heart fills up with the energy of being present. I receive the gift that is given as the formless merges with me as inspiration bringing so much more to me than just these words.

You could say that here we merge with God in a way that makes life more full as creation spills out onto the blank pages before me. If I had a paint brush I could allow the strokes to move with ease upon the white canvas, sing the song that fills the air with joy or move the body from the inside to the outside as the dance with spirit swirls and twirls like a whirling dervish bringing the sweet presence to all I meet.

It is an energy that just wants to move through us as we open and receive more life. It feeds us and when we share it and when others connect to it, there is more life. We are in community and we are here to share this food that we receive.

Yesterday at my yoga class, my teacher Cindy read a story about children who were told that whoever would get to a certain tree before the others would get a basket of fruit. The children decided to hold hands and run together to the tree. When the teacher asked why they did that, the child said because together we could all have the fruit. They knew that together they would all benefit.

As I hear the story it tells us all to share this fruit of our creation. Spirit is right here sitting on the doorstep of our hearts, waiting to come and share in the glory of creation. In spirit we receive the inspiration that guides our way and fills us up. This truth can free us from the prison of our own ego mind continuing to keep us stuck in old beliefs and patterns that hold us back and keeps us tight, hugging to our fears and doubts. Maybe we believe that there is not enough to share and we keep it for ourselves. I can’t do that. I came into the world as a triplet and sharing has been natural. In the womb I knew about oneness and I am sure we all came in with this knowingness. But life brought us to the place of learning about separation and now it just doesn’t work. Then crisis happens and strips us down and humbles us to ask for help. Why are we ever surprised when they come and offer us comfort and a hand to hold?

As there are angels in the heavens just waiting for us to ask for help, so are there earth angels giving us the message over and over again, that we are not alone. Let us not wait for the crisis. Open up now to that infinite spirit that waits for you to quiet your mind and come into your present state of being. Listen. Here you might hear your name called like a whisper in the wind and your spirit loved one may be singing your song, reminding you that you are not alone. Here is where you can hear the message of love that guides your way and touches the world with more life as you share it in your beautiful authentic way of being you. Forever, forever…..

Blessed Be,

Frannie