Summer Breeze

I receive a phone call and the news on the other end takes me by surprise. I know what to do. I know that staying present is what I need. I listen deeply. I feel my fears begin to show and yet listening brings me deeper inside. I watch my mind dive into the past. I hear a voice that begins to worry about the future. I breathe and listen to the moment. How easy it is to slip away into the mind that seems to keep me a prisoner of the past! The conversation was cut short and I was left in worry. It just doesn't feel good to obsess in that mind that thinks it knows what I need to do.

I set the phone down and I feel myself. Slowly I walk outside. The touch of a summer breeze gently brings me back to the moment as I take my walk outside to my lanai. I pray for peace and clarity as my eyes gaze in front of me and there is the largest butterfly spread against the screen. I am reminded that this world is being used by God to bring healing. I feel the quiet come over me like the hand of God just lifted me up into a sweet embrace. I stared at this gift that spoke to me of transformation. I felt touched by this love from the heavens that filled me with hope.

In the moment of this stillness, I remembered a time when I was filled with confusion about a major life decision. I had been on a retreat at Mt. Shasta, California. A week of introspection and transformation. After the week of intense letting go, a few of us decided to go camping for a couple of days before heading back home.

I woke up that morning with a high fever and flu-like symptoms. My head was pounding and I knew that I couldn't join the group of friends that were going to hike up the mountain. After everyone left I decided to walk down the path to a stream. It was a hot summer day and with the way I was feeling, I needed to get out of the heat. I could hear the sound of water rushing over rocks in the distance. It was like music calling me and guiding me to come. As I got closer, I could feel the summer breeze that gently moved over the meadow. I couldn't wait to slip into the stream. I slowly made my way into the freezing cold water that was flowing from further up the mountain. Surely there was snow way up high where my friends were hiking.

I fully lowered myself into the icy water and laid there until I couldn't stay any longer. I made my way to the river bank and sat cross legged. It was so quiet and peaceful. I began to stare at the little bush in front of me. As I focused my attention on the leaves I saw this bush was filled with bees. So many bees were sitting on the leaves and branches, buzzing around. I thought of St. Francis of Assisi who would be a magnet for all kinds of wild life. He would be so still and allow the energy of all beings to come close. Birds would sit on him as if he were branches of a tree. Animals of all kind would never be intimidated by his presence.

I closed my eyes and without fear of being stung I knew that in my own stillness I was filled with peace. I breathed into the moment, communing with the lovely bees that were on the branches and leaves before me. Then I slowly felt guided to open my eyes and now all those bees were sitting on me. I was covered with them and some were buzzing around me. I continued to breathe in and out calmly and settled more deeply inside. It felt like their presence on my skin moved me deeply into my body. I had no busy or aggressive mind hindering my receptivity. I was overflowing with a profound joy. I wanted to laugh out loud but I didn't want to move. I felt a calm so deep within me that the experience was so full of life. Then slowly the bees lifted off like they were helicopters taking flight. One by one, I watched these insects leave as they went on their merry way.

I was in gratitude of what happened, as obstacles that might have been in me before were now dissolved. I got up and walked back to the camp site and I felt well. My fever was gone and my energy was back. It was as if these bees were pulling out my sickness with their presence.

Sometimes a gentle touch is all we need. We just want to be touched because it heals us. We carry a whole world full of experience as we walk through the streets of our ordinary lives. As we brush up against each other, we are touched by a gaze, a smile, a thought or words. Touch can be the language of love for another and in giving we are receiving.

When life brings me to my knees as I watch my children on their own climb up the mountain top, I can listen. It is the language of the heart that speaks from this unending stream of consciousness where I can become still and wait. The truth of my own deepest being is touching me and guiding my way back to love. 

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM LOVE

All my love, 

Frannie

Will You Be My Valentine?

 

"What the world needs now is love, sweet love.

It's the only thing that there's just too little of."  -Hal David

Is there really so little love in this world or are we so focused on the pain and conflicts? It is sometimes easier to remain stuck in old mind sets or behaviors even when they keep us feeling miserable. Are we afraid of confronting the truth and lost in being victims instead of looking at ourselves face to face so that we can let go of what stands in the way? Here I realize that keeping myself closed stops me from letting love in. Here I contribute to keeping the lie alive that there's just too little of love. When all I need to do is release what is holding me back and forgive the past, allowing compassion to contribute to the world.

It really doesn't matter who you are, where you have been, whatever the beliefs that guide your way, there comes a time when we all have a longing to be touched through the heart. Each of us needs to nourish the soul as we breathe deeply into the truth that we are loved. Accepting this statement is easier said than done sometimes. So much of our days are filled with judgments of our self or another that we forget that each of us is deeply loved.

God's will for us all is that we be happy. When we make a choice to be happy, the whole world looks different to us. Sometimes it is so much easier to feel all of our negative feelings like shame, anger, sadness or resentment. We get caught up in the loop of these unhappy feelings and forget to give ourselves permission to feel some happiness. Yes, we have to feel these negative feelings but that is only to release them so that we can feel the truth that is underneath it all. It can take days, weeks or just a moment as we find our way back to what is real and live more fully in our hearts.

Love takes discipline and practice. It's not just the sweet words on a greeting card. It is the moments we spend with spirit as we pray and meditate or just walk mindfully in our life. These moments we spend with God in the silence is the muscle that strengthens this inner connection. Here we listen as we let go of what we are doing and merge with who we are. We become still and the voice of acceptance calms us down and brings a peace that fills us up. I don't know about you, but this sure makes me feel happy and I realize that when I give this to myself, it is a lot easier to demonstrate and express love in many different ways. Like this morning, while I am writing these words, I lift my gaze from the computer screen as I see my husband making his way out of the bedroom with his hair all messy from the night's sleep and shuffles over to the coffee maker, I say, "good morning my darling". When we offer this gift with a genuine heart, the giver is also the receiver as we contribute to giving a little more love to our world.

Can we come to the altar of our heart each day and awaken to a new moment to be with spirit. Here all is well as love is shared with all we meet.

Turning inward, I go deeper inside to myself.

The moment I awake I am lost in your embrace.

You are the sweetness as I breathe into what is being revealed in this glorious moment.

You are my beloved, precious presence that lives deeply inside all that I am.

Wake up little one!

Wake up to this moment where you are here to bring about change.

The doves sing the song of creation, nudging you to plant the seeds of truth.

Oh sweet mystery, dance upon the heaviness of my heart.

Take me into the sunshine where it is warm and inviting.

I keep walking as the shadows of the past lurk behind every step.

I look upwards and find your light gazing softly like a sweet smile on the lips of a lover guiding me even if I cannot see.

I am feeling it all yet I dwell in the comfort of your vision of a vast meadow.

Here is where I lay in the arms of your embrace and look upwards to all that passes by.

The clouds look back as the winds push it all away, giving me the answers that guide me closer to truth.

I hear the way Spirit speaks to me like the still flower raising its petals to the sun.

Opening more and more until the fragrance of such a beautiful bloom fills the air with the aliveness of just being.

I am here in the midst of the same moment again and again where life forms into one precious moment.

Be still my sweet love and know that I am here.

Be quiet as the voice of nothing speaks louder for all your tomorrows.

Be here and let all that has crowded you make passage for your Self be known and true.

This is love. This is love.

Blessed Be My Valentine

All my love,

Frannie