A Season of Thanksgiving

"Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life."~ Rumi

I remember being an awkward teenager. I felt insignificant and small as I walked through the corridors of my High School. It wasn't easy to fit in at St. Mary's High School for girls. I didn't know many of the students and I didn't feel smart enough or pretty enough. All my insecurities were worn on my sleeve so to speak as I clutched my books in front of me and tried to hide in the corners of my mind. I was already a shooting target because of being a triplet. Someone announced it at lunch and all eyes were on us. The three of us were new at the school and the spotlight brought me deeply into the pain of years of unwanted attention. I wanted to sink into the earth as all the eyes were on us and the horrible feelings were choking me. Embarrassed and alone, I wanted to disappear and so I did until one day I met my counselor at the school. Her name was Helen Gelinas and she took me under her wing and became my friend. Her loving kindness showered me with the warmth of spirit and inspired me just by her presence. She was a safe place to share my inner stirrings and help me find the confidence to move myself into my life. She was an instrument for God as she guided me in ways that no other could. One simple act of kindness inspired me for the rest of my life. She opened me to find my ultimate calling by being herself. Her ability to listen was what I needed. This quality is God like and in the peaceful state of tranquility I had a chance to return to my true nature. This wonderful mentor taught me to express these inner feelings and accept the heartbreak, loneliness and sorrows of my inner landscape. With her loving attention I was able to touch the tender feelings that had been hidden for so long as I began to taste the sting of tears that ached to be let go of. Nothing had to be fixed. I didn't have to be fixed, only held in the loving stillness of an open heart.

This woman paved the way for me and now years later I bow to her for giving to me such a wonderful gift. I realize that being a good listener is one of the highest forms of meditation.

In the silent place within is where we are inspired to feel peace with ourselves.

Allow your eyes to soften as you go inward to gaze or listen without being distracted.

Let the sounds of the birds, trees swaying in the wind, fragrance of the flowering earth, a memory, a picture of a smiling face...Let it all be held without judgment.

Embrace your inner landscape as you breathe.

Be right here as you touch the treasures that surround your being.

Your generous heart begins to awaken and grow larger as your vision becomes clear.

Now sit in this stillness as you say-

"Thank you for my life. Thank you for this day where I can be of service."

With a grateful heart, bow to all those who inspired you to be who you are today.

Let us cherish this new day when our hearts overflow with peace and love as we transform this room of our beloved home with presence and share the blessings of another moment to bring all that we are to this world.

Thank you, God.

November Circle of Light Meditation with Frannie dates:

Upcoming Circle of Light Meditations with Frannie!

True Love : A Tribute to Marylou Baer

Everyone has left the cottage. I am here, alone for the first time since the passing of both my mother and father. I am sitting in their bedroom that is the second story of the house. I have my chair right up against the huge window that overlooks the lake and the birch trees. As I listen to the sound of the wind caressing the leaves and making conversation with all of my senses, I hear the silence of this sacred place pull me deep within to the core of my being where Spirit waits for my joining. Memories seem to pass through like clips from a movie. Feelings move through as well as I let go of participating with the mind. I just want to be quiet.

I sit comfortably deep inside the seat of consciousness where I am aware of Self as everything around me is just being. My heart opens wide to receive the energy that flows through this moment.

My first mother-in-law is dying right now as I type these words. Even though her son Kim and I did not stay married, Marylou has been a constant beacon of light in my life since the day I met her, 38 years ago. She had courage to keep living her life fully even after her diagnosis with cancer years ago. Her love of God and Jesus has inspired me in countless ways as her undying faith kept her going daily. Her selfless love was given to all of us and unconditionally you felt God's light shining on you through her eyes, her touch and her words. I am grateful to have her as a mom, a friend and companion through my life.

I am thousands of miles from her beside yet as I sit in prayer this day, I empty myself to be in communion with the Divine as I feel myself being lifted upwards. There is space between me and the thoughts and emotions inside. How easy it would be to cry right now and feel the sadness of death that is around my loved ones. I fall inside to join with my spiritual being. This pure energy envelops me and takes me to a sweet spot deep within where I am open to the beauty and appreciation that Spirit feels. I feel a love gushing inside of me and filling me up. I share this with her. This state of being is where I want to hang out and experience this doorway to God where a tremendous feeling of love, light and Spirit awakens inside. I feel lifted into the Oneness of God. Here there is no separation and it does not matter what religion we are, we are one with all creation. I seem to merge with all the trees, plants, animals, water, earth and rocks that surround this cottage. I feel I am giving through my heart the love that God is always. As I honor all life that is of this world, I get a glimpse of God and I walk closer to Him.

That's what happens when you meditate and pray. You begin to notice Spirit and allow the qualities of the Divine to expand within you. It is all beautiful. This is true love. That's how a mother loves her child. This is how I love my children and my mother loved her children. This selfless love is like God's love for all humanity and all creation.

I speak to Marylou almost every day, even though it might just be for a moment as she is very weak. She has moved into the Hospice House which she had helped build in her home town of Burlington, North Carolina. We would cry on the phone together as she ends the call the way she always has over the last 35 years, "be careful, I love you". The next day when mom was not speaking and only sleeping now, my sister-in law, Karen told me that Kim had walked from the outside into their mom's room and a butterfly was on his shoulder. It stayed in her room while she lay quiet between the worlds. Marylou loved butterflies and felt that she would make her spirit known to us all through the butterfly.

I got off the phone and knew within my heart that Marylou would communicate to me in some way. My niece was visiting and I was sharing the story as we were in the dining room setting the table for dinner. As I spoke of the butterfly story that Karen had shared, the music began to play from the frame on the bookshelf that had the picture of my girlfriend Mary who passed away over 6 yrs. ago. Her picture was surrounded by butterflies. Lindsay and I felt energy move through our body. Truth chills I like to call it. I immediately looked at the clock and it was 5:45 p.m. Maybe Marylou had just passed, we thought in that moment. Later that night I got a call from Karen saying that they didn't feel that mom would make it through the night. She died that morning at 5:45 a.m.

How blessed I am to call Marylou, mom. She has loved her children and has given to her children and the people in her life like God's nature. I bow to this undying love that moved her into the ocean of Divine Oneness where we are always together. I am so grateful to the many gifts that death teaches. How precious life is as we live in this love of Spirit.

Come here my precious one, where death pushed you to the edge

Let go of the veil of fear where we begin again so aware and grateful

The sun paints the earth with the light of a new day as the little bird sings

This is another moment to awaken to the miracle of life that just happens

Drink in the nectar of this presence

Be filled with the Source that is unlimited

Now sit for a while within the heart of consciousness

Awaken to the light that illuminates and lifts you upward

Into the heavens where you listen deeply to the silence

We meet here as the Beloved where nothing is hidden

There is nothing separating the inside from the outside

All is participating with creation as you are touched by God's power

The hand that holds us all in this Holy and sacred moment beyond time

Who are you?

Oh, but a part of all that is

When the broken pieces of life open up to reveal all that exists within

As peace renews

Now simply, in your thoughts and actions

Return to the Source of Being.

Marylou Baer

May 11, 1930 - September 14, 2012

Your Own Secret Garden

BLOOM INFO FULLNESS!

I love this time of year when I can open the windows and doors and invite the glorious outside in. The fragrance of jasmine and honey suckle fill the room as the sounds of nature call me to move to the meditation garden I have created.  As I sit here in my comfortable chair with my writing pad on my lap, I allow Mother Nature to nurture me.  I receive the beauty of all that is blooming in loveliness for me. The colors and shapes of the flowers are lush, reminding me of all of the abundance that is present in my life.  I begin to reach into the pots and pluck out the weeds as I acknowledge the thoughts of lack that can hold me back.  

When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but on the abundance that's present, the feelings of lack fall away and we can experience the joy in our ordinary day.   

As I breathe consciously the moment becomes an entry way inward. Dissolving into all that is in the moment allows me to feel or just be with myself without judgment. I come to this place countless times yet as I enter through my heart I am like an innocent child awakening to a new experience. This is where I anchor in the present moment as it opens me up to receive the spiritual food that brings me life. I bathe in the love as I lose myself in this state of being. I retreat into my own secret garden inside.

Words cannot truly express the feeling of becoming one with all creation. Mystics and poets try to describe the beauty of it all yet never to quite touch it through expression. To be it is like finding a jewel in a pile of rocks. It takes your breath away and yet when you arrive; you know in every cell of your being that this is home- your true state of being.

Living in this state is what we all long for. The outside world can bring us to the doorway yet the true experience is inward. It is an inside job for sure.

In a holy instant, as we  let go and surrender to the ocean of love it will sweep us up or even swallow us whole.

To sustain this state is a challenge as life outside continues to pull us away. My open and grateful heart brings me to union with the silent language of spirit that speaks. I listen to what  arises up through the moment of complete acceptance.

The jewel is held tenderly within the heart. The light illuminates and fills the entire moment with a feeling that lifts me up into higher consciousness. The sounds of the world begin to sing the praises to God.

 I silently shout out without making a noise, celebrating the very moment of union with the Divine.

Here I am filled with all that I need. Here I know that this life is unfolding just as it will- spilling into every part of this journey. As I accept myself with all that is good and bad without judgment, I am allowing my true self to emerge and be the vessel for love to now bathe the world. In all sorts of ways I can be authentically Me. Sharing myself as a beacon of light, illuminating the path that unifies and joins with all I meet.

The fullness of the moment gives without conditions as it shares love. To be love is truly the state of being that heals the past and allows the future to arrive.

There is no other day to begin but today, as you bloom like any flower in your garden of life. Let yourself become the fullness of your loving heart and the essence is the fragrance that touches this world like a breath of springtime.
 

All My Love,

Frannie

A New Year

“Nothing in all creation is so like God as stillness.” -Meister Eckhart, the 14^th Century Mystic

To my family and friends, I bow to you for being companions on this life pilgrimage with me as we enter into 2012.  We have practiced embracing everyday of our lives with more consciousness as we shift into each moment waiting for the new with great trust. We are blessed in this time to be human beings- grateful and awake. Life invites us to stay awake as we pay attention to what is true in the moment, in our hearts, and make choices from this place.

As members of one human family we can accept our flaws and shortcomings in each honest present moment. Let us rise up out of bed this day and as we place our feet upon the earth, we breathe deeply inside where we can drink in the feeling that is beyond any language, where we are enough.

With the house empty after a busy holiday season, the quiet solitude pulls me to the couch where my cat Angel sleeps beside me. As I breathe consciously, I begin to touch the inner landscape of these tender feelings that have been hidden away. Listening to my heart comes easier when I am quiet and patient. Whenever I move into stillness I seem to meet some forgotten grief, sorrow or even joy. Today I let myself taste the tears that long to be shed. There is nothing to fix here or change in any way. Allowing a space of stillness seems to soften the gaze inward as a wise and ancient truth begins to rise up.

The outside world becomes brighter as this larger part of me seems to emerge from deep within the canyon of myself. I hear the wind pushing through the screen of the window as the sounds of people walking to the beach catch my attention. I hear them laughing and calling me to open my eyes. I see the colored lights twinkling on the Christmas tree as the memories of the past year flow gently through my mind’s eye. Each ornament hangs like a road sign from the past to the present.

Without such stillness of attention, how could we possibly know the treasures that surround us in every moment? I bathe in the rich, loving silence where I recognize that we are all one body, one mind, one heart, and one spirit. It is a new year as we wake up to a new life of Oneness.

Listen, child of God…

You are enough just as you are.

Receive the gift of the moment

for you are worthy of the love that is present.

There is so much to be a part of, and it is all within you.

Stop and feel the breath move you into the emptiness

that fills you with everything that you need.

Nourish yourself with the energy that exists.

You are here in the stillness where God meets you.

Awaken to the blessings of a single day for it is

a gift to be opened.

Happy New Year To All!

Be the Change

I’m standing at my kitchen counter waiting for my test results. It’s part of my routine physical. I know in every fiber of my being that I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. So why do I feel so anxious?

Finally the phone rings and the results confirm what I already know—everything is normal.

A dam inside me breaks as my joy and relief spill out through my happy tears.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been told my liver was not normal. And year after year after year, the test results have supported that claim. I have dedicated much of my life to serving humanity by allowing myself, to the best of my ability, to be a vessel so that God can work with me and through me. A big part of my commitment involves lifestyle choices that support the healthy growth and healing of my mind, body, and spirit. At times it is hard to stay on the path of what we want, especially when others around us have lost their own battles.

Guilt sometimes swallows me up, as I wonder why I should believe I could get well when loved ones have remained sick or even died.

We have the ability to change ourselves, and only we can do it. If you change how you think then you will change how you feel, and then choose a more helpful response. Meditation helps us to be the change we wish to see in the world.

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I reach with my mind and heart as I pray: Dear God, let me be an instrument of your peace. Help me to share your divine loving presence as I trust that I can stay open to whatever I meet today.

I breathe into my body and receive myself. Then I quietly rise up out of bed in the darkness of the bedroom and fumble my way to the living room. Putting on my robe, I ease into my favorite chair. No one can calm me and bring me peace except God. I know that being calm and quiet not only serves me, but I am sure God can make better use of me, as well.

I settle into my body and feel whatever is lurking in the deepest parts of my being. I know answers to any of my problems come when I am willing to face my uncomfortable feelings and difficult thoughts. When I stay with these shameful hurts and pains within, something inside softens. The fear of staying here loosens its hold and breathing begins to quiet the mind allowing the dense thought-forms to fall away. I know that the only way out of my self-imposed pain is to go inward to hold it. When I listen with the ear of my heart, the still small voices of inner wisdom reveals what is nourishing.

As I pray and contemplate this connection inside, I find the strength that helps me handle the darkness of the inner and outer world. I also feel that meditation can help us handle all of the powerful light that is coming in at this time.

As we are called to live bigger and brighter, sometimes our resistance gets bigger, as well.

I witness how afraid we are to live our truest potential. We are afraid to fully let our light shine. Our addictions keep us trapped and muted. Can we be love with conviction? Can we see the miracle we are just by choosing to be peace? Can we open our hearts and share this food that light offers to the hungry? I think we all want that peace but first we must forgive the past by recognizing unhealthy emotional patterns. Can we let go of those moments that brought us to our knees when we uncovered the lie of unworthiness? Forgiving is part of the process as we begin to view the world through the lenses of new thought.

Living love and being the light for another is truly a gift. Nowhere on this earth have I experienced this gift more profoundly than when I have stood before the one people call John of God. He embodies the words that Mahatma Gandhi speaks of:

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

I have been to Brazil to visit John of God two times before. Yet this trip brought me to understand more deeply how living to serve this food called love is our greatest gift. When I speak of love here, I mean divine love, God’s love. I believe that life brings us to more of it if we can be in the direct experience of any given moment. In the present moment, if we accept who we are, with all our fears and all our shame and guilt, then we will see that our feelings do not have to separate us. We can join together in the one mind.

My father died the day after my arrival in Abadiania, Brazil. It pushed me deeply into grief as I longed to touch my father again. I wanted to feel his spirit with me. I prayed and meditated. I walked in silence as my intention to be more present revealed many thoughts and feelings. I felt, I cried, I allowed myself to just be with me. I was so willing to heal my inner world and my body.

As I look around the hall where many wait to see Joao De Deus (John of God), I am humbled by these brave souls in wheel chairs, on crutches, and being carried. The sick and the dying, the searchers for truth all gather in this sacred holy place called Casa de Dom Inacio de Loyola. Everyone wears white; we are all the same here. We take our turn to stand in the presence of a man who has committed his life to the healing of the collective society. As a medium for God, he becomes a hollow reed. Medium Joao, as he likes to be called, radiates unconditional love that heals those who need healing. In the presence of this love, fear dissolves.

If enough of us stand in the light of true love, not simplistic love, but strong divine love, then there is peace and this creates a force field of healing light.

My group is called and slowly I walk in the line that brings us into the Entities Current room where John is. I feel held in the arms of the angels as I observe so many people sitting in pews meditating and radiating their love and support. The walls are crowded from floor to ceiling with holy pictures of Saints and music fills the air. It feels like a sacred pilgrimage to meet God through the eyes of Joao De Deus. For 48 years he has participated in the healing of over 8 million people.

When we give ourselves this deeper connection we can open up to the entire world. We can give and live for others from this full cup. I saw it when I stood in front of John. The light of God was spilling out of him like an endlessly flowing river. He was connected inward and sharing from this place where God meets us all. His words, so simple and yet profoundly truthful and filled with spirit, touched my heart and I melted into the love of my dad within this timeless sacred moment. I was changed in a holy instant.

No matter who we are, we have things to do to fulfill the calling of our souls. We are called to be authentically ourselves as best as we can be. We are challenged each day to dig deeper into ourselves to find out who we really are and to choose to live truthfully. Each of us, no matter who we are, can align ourselves with a better idea. All of us need more quiet time, not to retreat from the world but to merge with the treasures and richness that is flowing through our very being.

How will we hold the challenges and limitations that are given to us? When the resistance to the moment falls away, we are forever changed. We are the doorway as love enters this world through each of us individually as we join together as one. The joining creates a gateway where light enters to bring many treasures through our gaze, through our eyes, through our touch and through our words. We are the messengers as we let go of the past and allow the present moment to be all that is. When we look into the mirror that this world is, who we are is reflected back and we have another opportunity to share the truth that only the heart can receive.

Follow your dream and fully be yourself as you let what you do fill you with enthusiasm. You are brave the moment you enter inside, letting go of what holds you back from fully being here as yourself. Follow your heart for it is the gateway into the power of love that nurtures this dream as you become an instrument for God. You are the change.

This article by Frannie Hoffman was published in Transformation Magazine's January 2012 issue! http://www.suncoasttransformation.com/online/?p=2008