Living Awake, Moment by Moment

"You are the sky. Everything else- it's the weather." - Pema Chodron

 

            Sometimes, in a heartbeat, our lives can turn upside down. Change can enter like a tornado bringing us the struggles and challenges that can humble us and move us to fall on our knees, asking for help.

            I found myself filled with emotion the other night when I woke up and walked into the living room in the darkness of the night. The intense feeling, like a tsunami came pushing through me as I fell on the couch, crying uncontrollable tears. The suffering of our humanity is pushing on my heart as I hold myself in this release. How grateful I am to empty this heart of mine that called me to surrender once again. Letting the tears flow, the crying just knows what to do. Empty of these feelings, I rest in this space where I become full of a peace that is truly beyond my own understanding. My emptiness brings calmness to every part of me. I rest on the couch in the early morning dawn, knowing that the suffering of our world is felt within. I am surrendered. Nothing to control. Why do I ever think that control would ever set me free? My past losses showed me how to be fully alive. I do not want to ever throw away the chances to love now.

            Life itself seems to humble me again and again as it moves me to my inner-life. Without love or compassion or even truth, it does not matter if I have all the needs of my physical life met and comforts of my daily living all in tack. If my love light is dim and I'm waiting for money in the bank to take care of myself, I realize that the generosity of love and compassion is all that is needed to keep me fully alive. And then "I go out and make the donuts." Being a counselor is my career but loving compassion is my purpose. It comes from my own inner focus to hold myself just where I am, flawed and fabulous. In this acceptance of my inner self, I can be conscious as I breathe. The veils seem to lift where I am awake. It is here in God's mind where I am fully free. The attachments to this world will never make me truly happy.

            I remember the feeling I had, lying beside my 4-month-old grandson as he looked right into my eyes. He touched my face and pulled me closer as I kissed his cheek. He begins to laugh the way when you are tickled, and you can't stop it if you tried. It's contagious. I laughed with him and he looked deeply into my eyes with a sparkle that lights up my heart. It's as if I can see the whole world through his gaze. Pure joy filled the moment as his whole-body giggled. Now, just thinking about it, the feeling of happiness softens the sadness, despair or depression that ever was. All the fears and worries wash away. It seems to dissolve any toxic emotion or anxiety and there is a deep connection to real- life right here, right now. No medicine is better than laughing from the belly and little Theo brings me to it so naturally. 

            My friend David Sears let go into the Divine presence, Feb. 8^th, 2019, in the early morning. His focus was on the life that continues beyond the body, the transition into the sweetest embrace of Spirit. In his last days, he welcomed death as he welcomed you into his breath. Even though his body was filled with cancer, he said, "it is all wonderful!" I witnessed him as he let his heart wrap around the mystery as if he was having a love affair with his own transition. His commitment to conscious dying brought me into conscious living.

            I sit at the restaurant with my friend and my dog as I watch a little bird coming up to Mollie as she plays with this new friend. A little bird, so joyously hopping around like hide and seek. I feel inside my heart, it's David, my friend, my teacher of living life in love till his transition. "Be happy, be happy- it's wonderful! I hear it inside my mind. If he could, he would shine his spirit through this world to say hi. He loved my Mollie so much that he went out and got his puppy, Sweet Pea.

            David was living awake moment by moment before he slipped out of his body. He modeled for me that I have the choice to let go each day of the attachments to this world of form. To live in the presence of the Divine is like sinking into the deepest ocean of well- being. Here is where we are called to be.

            Happiness is our birthright. When we are in harmony inside, independent of the chaotic conditions outside, truly our minds have let go of interpreting the experience. We just begin to move into the flow of life as it is. The grieving heart takes a break; we make a choice to take off the heavy garments of sadness and sorrow and look in the eyes of this world like a beautiful spring day calling us forth to play. We let go and surrender to the moment at hand where we can walk into a new state of being and in the meantime just get outside and go for a walk.           

          I am deeply guided as my inward focus brings me into my intuitive nature where I embrace it all. It's more than just understanding it with my head. My heart feels the experience of living fully. I look up at the clear blue sky as a new world inside of me is being created.

 

Be awake as you reach into what is here.

Let go and be love now.

 

Blessings and Love, 

Frannie

The Miracle in the Present

"Hope is the companion of power, and the mother of success for he who hopes so strongly has within the gift of miracles."

The church bells ring in the distance and all of a sudden this moment feels sacred. Why is it that the sound brings me immediately into a precious holy instant? I reach inside and I am held by the love of my Beloved as I feel like I am captured into a rapture of complete and perfect peace. Then with pen in hand, I can express it in my way as I bow to kiss this earth with my own way of creating. It's never really a masterpiece, but it is life being given back through my receiving. There are so many ways to join with this magnificent spirit that only wants to keep flowing. Sometimes without effort it does and sometimes there is resistance from my humble response. Yet truly I cannot imagine a greater thing than this moment of creating something that might only be worthwhile for me. It just spills out like the beauty of this pure and simple day.

What were the thoughts of Da Vinci or Michelangelo, the moments before they created their masterpieces. Everything I gaze at as I wander through the museums and cathedrals brings me life. Little did these artist know how inspiring they would be for us all. The energy of these ancient temples of worship or the fountains and walkways of stone were places where pilgrims journey from far away lands. Just as we come from all of the corners of the earth to witness and experience a world of ancient ruins and history filling our minds and hearts with energy.

I am grateful to just breathe and observe all the little miracles that are right here before me. The property where I am sitting is framed with the herb rosemary, growing around like a hedge and the fragrance so divine brings me to the thought of growing it at home this way. Then I look up into the clear blue sky, not even one cloud, and a hot air balloon flows effortlessly in the valley. I watch like a child and my heart seems to be filling up with a joy that just being here is enough.These moments of presence brings a nourishment to my inner being that makes it all so sacred. I love the Buddhist quote that is" before enlightenment, carry water and chop wood and after enlightenment, carry water and chop wood." Now I do not claim to be enlightened but staying awake seems to be the greatest gift of being present with life and allowing it to bring me these little nuggets of perfect awareness. How sweet it is to just be still and watch the butterfly move from leaf to leaf. How delicious it is to hear the sounds of the tractors in the vineyards harvesting the grapes. How every little scene I gaze upon seems to bring me this incredible appreciation for being alive and how simple it all is when you gaze at nature. It all is complete and perfect in its unfolding.

We take this life for granted sometimes yet only to be brought to our knees when a loved one is dying or we are given a diagnosis that seems tragic, we might realize how precious these moments are. We awaken to a conscious awareness where we remember how incredible it is to be a spiritual being having a human experience. We are blessed to invite this life fully in and to let it bring us to great appreciation.

So with this thought, I offer to you. What will you do with this day? How will you use your eyes and your hands and your voice to express the gift that life gives so freely. I invite you to live in this moment as mindful as you can and share the piece of life that expresses through your being. Tomorrow you could die and not have the chance to say I love you. Today is your day to awaken to the truth that this is your moment to shine and live as if you only had today to express the gratitude in living so aware of others around you. This day, you are no different in someways, yet maybe that smile from a child or the gaze of a flower has reminded you how precious you are. Consciously you get the choice to choose to be the instrument of such a love that created this life so beautifully, for you. So as Jack Kornfield writes; " Enlightenment is intimacy with all things."

Go and be intimate with this life that is given and connect with all that weaves us together as we flow back into oneness with all that is. This is the holiday season where the light that abides in you can flow into the hearts of the ones you are with. The miracle is in the present moment if you can breathe and stay still for just a little while as you enter inside.

In to me I see can bring intimacy with all that is.

Nov. 3, 2016

It's quite a miracle when you think about just waking up to a new day. The way our body just knows how to breathe on it's own and there is our heart beating at a perfect rhythm. It is the way we show up in this precious moment that seems to allow the thoughts to soften and the truth to spill out into our every gaze. How could we ever take this life for granted. I know I do and then something inside of me awakens and then I breathe into this moment until the light enters my consciousness and I get taken into the swirl of spirit that is my constant companion. It can take me a few minutes or hours sometimes but with the intention to clear the cloudy mind of its incessant chatter I just allow myself to be the witness of what is. How many times I bring myself to the altar of my heart where once again I am humbled by the beauty of just being right here. Life certainly has its way to take us away to spiral into insane thinking where we forget how precious life is and we want to run away from the feelings that fear can bring us into. Once again I watch this world and all that is showing up and I can choose where I would like to reside. This life can be seen with a cup half full or empty and it is up to me to be present once again to that still small voice within that guides my way. This alone is the greatest of all miracles. With patience and commitment I can return to the silence where this fullness of life fills me up and helps me see the world with greater clarity. Then I can rise up out of my bed and go out and play and I know that this is my birthright. To enjoy this life that is given without conditions. Looking at the political arena or the ups and downs of this world, I can surely put on the glasses that help me to see what is important.

Namaste, 

Frannie

The Pilgrimage is Life

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love. The wound is the place where the Light enters you. Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." Rumi

I walk down the dock this early morning, silently drawn by the hand of my own spirit. I have walked here countless times before where I know that nature, always the same, holds me no matter what I bring from within. It seems that the painful moments of yesterday's were just passageways to more life. Loss has truly been a constant companion and now I am understanding more deeply that the letting go of what was and the allowing of what is becomes the doorway to love.

Two swans sit in front of me. It is such a peaceful moment in time as the warmth of this summer morning brings me home to myself. I am so grateful for this beautiful cottage that holds for me the memories of a life of growing up through all of the challenges that come with this journey.

The sun rises up behind me as it shines its light upon the rippling water. It is so clear I can see the sea weed right to the bottom. I remember, as a child, diving off the dock into the water as the grass brushed up against my skin. I remember when I first opened my eyes under the surface as I glided through and the vision of underwater life thrilled me. Again and again I would climb back onto the dock until I was shivering and my lips were blue. I just wanted to experience it one more time.

The wonder of a child who sees this world with eyes that hold no judgement. When did it all change? How easy it is to just see this world with eyes of the past, projecting that which sees with limitation or scaring the moment with critical voices.

So it is, each time I enter this dock, memories pass by my mind yet I never get tired of the beauty held in these precious moments. Many a time I have sat here to meditate and begin the day, knowing within my breath that I will be nurtured by every sound and gaze. It is where my heart knows that even through the ages of time, deep inside I am still that one that dove into the water 50 or more years ago. My body has changed yet the same joy of being alive is filling me up and my presence is familiar. Nothing distracting me away from the moment where I know who I am.

This pilgrimage through life has made me the person I am yet the spirit of me is unchanging. Maybe I am more awake for sure yet there is a familiar part of me that continues to observe this life as it is. This observer is the witness never changing, just being. I see with an open heart as the fish jump, the birds fly overhead, the swans glide over the rippling waters and the trees stand at attention like a picture frame. I hear the cars in the distance as they move across the gravel road and sounds of cottagers waking up making breakfast as the smell of bacon and coffee moves through the breeze. The cows moo and the crows caw and the music of the water underneath the dock cradles me like a lullaby. The sunlight touches the back of my head as it peeks over me. I look into the blue sky as clouds are painted with brush strokes by a quiet creator. This beautiful painting gives me life and I am inspired to receive it deeply with every breath I take.

Yes, this is home, built by my parents and left for us to enjoy with our children and our children's children. The joy of our family life has continued through the ebb and flow of this journey through the ages and because the falseness has fallen away and the barriers have softened, I come here more alive then ever before because I let life fully in. There is nothing that has separated me from this union where my spirit loved ones join me this day. I am so grateful as I feel the presence of my mother and father and my husband Steve, as I invite it all in.

Happy Birthday to you mom today. You would be 90 years old. I bow to you for I was born through your womb and your pilgrimage has brought me to mine. I continue to walk on and with all the gifts that life has brought me, I am connected to a power that creates worlds as I trust in this life that is unfolding.

We are all on a pilgrimage. A sacred journey where we unveil through our own self imposed barriers and let the walls crumble as the light enters, shining on the path that continues to be life giving. We walk on as we become the one that hears the calling, sharing love in our way through the gifts of being ourselves. As I hear the voice of spirit speak, I receive her message - On this day of birth, you are more because I am more with you.

As this pull from within has drawn me to the end of the dock this morning, I know that my spirit loved ones are here - my heart tells me so!

Namaste,

Frannie

Partnering with Spirit

It's been a stormy and rainy day as I drive from the office to have dinner with my boyfriend Robert. There on the grass, parked is a white limousine. Today would have been my wedding anniversary to Steve and there it is, the road sign and symbol of our union. As I listen to my heart speaking to him, the dark heavy clouds are pouring down rain, as a bright sun peaks out of the opening and shines right on my car and the road I am driving on. Then the song that Luke sang at our wedding begins to play on the radio. My body begins to vibrate with truth chills as Steve's presence continues to make itself known. I line up in the moment and then this divine awareness becomes my beloved companion. It's not a phenomena to me. I invite my spirit loved ones to show up in my world at anytime. I feel their messages of love sent to me daily.

(drawing by Frannie Hoffman)

 

I love the quote from Yoko Ono when she was asked how she could bear being without John Lennon given they had spent 90% of their time together, her response was:

"Now we spend 100% of our time together."

 

The death of the body is not the death of love. It doesn't mean we don't grieve and feel the hurt but we can transcend the loss. When our hearts remain open to the flow of truth, the spirit can compensate for material loss. 

 

My connection to spirit's wisdom is natural and intimate. It feels like second nature to me and I believe that all the losses in my life have helped me to feel myself more fully and allow inner guidance or intuition to be my lifeline to freedom. If we can turn our attention inward to our heart instead of letting outside appearances overwhelm us, the Universe will show us what to do and where to go as we trust our own vibration.

 

My mother was a great teacher for me. She didn't listen to the doctor who told her that she couldn't have children. She climbed those steps of St. Joseph's Oratory in Quebec, praying as she knelt on every step, listening to her heart. She saw the crutches and wheel chairs that lined up on her path up the hill. Her pilgrimage was her own. She allowed her deepest desire to speak loudly. She believed she was born to have children. She listened to her inner calling and leaped with faith as she continued to give herself up to God. She knew her calling was to be a mother. Nothing stopped her from this deep spiritual connection to her heart. She had faith and her fears did not stop her.

 

That night my mother conceived triplet girls. My sisters and I were born and 2 years later so was my brother. 

 

My mother was an incredibly gifted and talented woman. She lived with a disease where her mind kept her in fear and so many days she was paralyzed with anxiety. Her suffering was unending and yet the joy of her children was the salve that soothed her brokenness. She was beautiful and cooking was love. She always had soup going on the stove or something mouth watering in the oven. She was a master at painting and creating centerpieces made of driftwood. Did I say how she loved her children? It is worth saying again. Maybe sometimes she loved us more than herself.

 

I wished she could have loved her own life more fully but yet in the end, she continued to be brave. It took great courage to let go of this world. She suffered with Alzheimer's and in her tormented days, she would look around her most favorite home, our cottage up north in Northern Ontario, and stare at all of her belongings surrounding her. The walls were adorned with the many oil paintings that she created through the years . My mother would cry out and plead " I want to go home. Please, you tell me these are my paintings and this is my favorite home, just take me home, nothing here is familiar." As I looked into her eyes she said, " I want to go home! "

 

At the time it was heartbreaking to listen to her pain and longing to remember her home. Now I believe that she was longing for her spiritual home. This place of comfort that no longer was inside her reality anymore. She was longing for that which seemed forgotten. 

 

Home for her was creating in the kitchen beautiful recipe's that made your mouth water just thinking about it. She showed her love through her cooking and sharing food. Her mother was the same. Food was love and that was something that I was always inspired by. I too love to cook and share love in this way. It is that feeling inside that makes you feel at home and having a pot of soup on the stove is something that just feels good. I love the feeling of cutting up veggies and throwing it all in a pot as I create this goodness that gives me life. Creating salads and dishes of all kinds is just a little piece of heaven for me. It doesn't matter if I didn't have enough money to shop for a big grocery, I would use what I had to create something that could feed others. It was a way to share love. 

 

Our mothers were our first home inside their womb. They are the music on the radio, the sun peaking through the rain clouds. They whisper sweet comfort during these life long journeys.

 

Today let us celebrate our mothers and mother figures in our life. Maybe they didn't always give us what we needed. These great woman helped to mould us and to be all that we are today. 

 

May we forgive our own fears when we forget how natural it is to breath and become more. We are here to bring life into us and let our bodies be the instrument to co-create a beautiful life. From the inside to the outside, let us leap into the moment with great abandon and share all that we receive.

 

Bowing to our mothers for we can receive life because this is our birthright! 

How blessed I am to be a mother.

 

Namaste,

Frannie

Bursting Into Fullness

"...and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to blossom."
- Niccolo Machiavelli

 

If there was ever a time to bring your fullness into being, it is now. What are we waiting for? What would it look like if we were fully ourselves in every moment? To achieve this, we must first become aware of when and why we hold ourselves back. Then and only then we can begin to see what it would look like if we were fully ourselves in each moment.

 

Looking inside myself and clearing away my clutter is like a spring cleaning. Just like I do for my house - my closets, my garage and my office - I clear out what is inside. This inner cleanup is a daily project, my meditation practice. As life pushes on me, I go inside and see what is blocking my true self from shining through. I'm not always sure what I'll find, but as I allow myself to become conscious and aware of my internal mess, slowly but surely I create space for my breath to get deeply engaged in my belly. As the fears and resentments and grief show themselves, I can let go of that which crowds my inner reality allowing my mind to soften and the cloudy vision to clear. I don't feel so stuck anymore. I can see what is really in front of me and open to who I truly am. As I create this opening, the wisdom of the ages seems to be more received and the simple truth of being here shines for me once again. I have found my way back to a clearing in my mind and heart where all gives birth to a new version of myself. I rise up to begin again with more confidence as this inner security strengthens my foundation. I step into the moment refreshed and more alive. Life flows through and moves me into my fullness.

 

This morning I am pulled into the day, this glorious day, where the breeze gently touches my skin and the sounds of the birds draw me out of my thinking mind. I listen to the sweetness of a stillness within. Looking around me with all of my senses, I receive the moment and all it brings.

 

I look at a flower bud on my hibiscus plant. The moment before a bud opens, is there a hesitation or a feeling of trepidation? Or does it just allow life to take it into itself? Does the energy that is already there bring it into its fullness? How trusting nature is in all its brilliant forms as it becomes our beautiful gardens to gaze at as spring appears.

 

In the quiet mind I allow myself to feel grounded in my body. I rest in a comfort of my own skin. Here I am fully present with all that nature is showing me. Today is the beginning of something new.

 

Here I can witness how life is bringing forth the perfection of what is unfolding around me.

 

My mindful meditation practice helps me to surrender to all that will occur each day. I can't change the world of form, but I certainly can shift my attention inside where I can receive this constant companion that awaits my return. Some call this subtle feeling serenity or peace - I call it God. This stillness within quiets down the stormy mind or maybe I just stop trying to stop it. My focus becomes more internal as I let go of control. Life's plan is going to happen and here, in this moment, I can embrace it all. This embrace is soft and allowing as I begin to listen to the still small voice that calls for my attention. I listen to the subtle sounds that guide my way in this crazy and insane world.

 

Often when I am in a grace time where life is flowing beautifully I can hear the ego trying to hook me into the thought, "look out! Beware of what's around the corner!" That old programming is a voice of the past (I could say it was my father who drilled that one into me!). I know that life has a way of bringing us to our knees. Still, I can let it go like every other thought and just be in the moment where I celebrate whatever is taking place. It's all part of the plan.

 

It's the letting go part that is most difficult. It's my pattern to hold on to the good or the bad way of thinking. Surrendering into everyday life is scary because in that surrender I have to trust that life is going to show me the way. Yet when I do not interfere with life, it seems to work out just fine. I become aware of the beautiful gifts that every experience becomes. Even in difficult times, can we trust that unseen force that is lining up each of us to be our brilliant selves - strong and powerful beings of the light? We can. We can rest in the knowing that who we are is worthy to be fully alive and creating a life of beauty and peace!

 

It's hard to trust when you know that there are fellow human beings that are suffering. It's so painful to watch our brothers and sisters who are ill or dying. It's all a part of us that we can't ignore. But we can find our own healing mindset that does not separate ourselves from anything yet awakens us to live more consciously and in appreciation of what is taking care of us all.

 

When we offer ourselves each day to the highest good and heal our grievances, we have more room inside our own hearts to teach the world about love. Can we be the loving embrace for the ones that are brought before us? Or do we sit glued to the television or our computers and forget that we have a choice to bring this brilliant spirit into union with all creation.

 

It's not always easy when our own lives seem upside down and inside out. It's our birthright to arrive back into our own loving hearts as we ask to be led into our ordinary worlds with our hearts wide open. Here we join in celebration of a life that can uplift another by being an instrument for spirit.

 

We are not on this path to walk alone. We are here to join our hearts with all humanity and listen deeply to the truth that sets us all free. Giving ourselves to the mystery that holds us through thick and thin, life invites us to fully participate in experiences as we hold our fears with a brave heart and let go into the freedom that will exhilarate us. We can burst into our fullness and allow ourselves to be the inspiration as we embrace this world and all humanity with the knowing that we are here together and we are all going home together. 

Namaste,

Frannie

Be Awake and Bloom

We all have the extraordinary coded within us, waiting to be released. - Jean Houston

Sitting on the pier with my brother fishing opened me as I gazed over the water feeling the comfort of his presence so near me. It was familiar as if there was no time. It's been years since we spent more than a few hours just with each other. The gifts of these moments fed me like the days of our youth. We would spend countless hours in the little aluminum boat on our lake in Northern Ontario catching perch, bass and sometimes a pike. Fishing in the river I recall myself being lost in the gazing into the still waters observing the sunlight reflecting in the fallen trees or driftwood making home for sea life. I liked it best in the river because of the calm waters and I could hear the birds and listen to the turtle as it made its way out of the water onto the fallen tree trunk. The sounds brought me closer to my own calmness inside. Those memories of myself as a child, was at home in nature.

 

Maybe back then it mattered if we caught any fish. Today all that mattered was being right here sharing the moment with Phil. This timeless feeling where our hearts have never been separated by distance or time and we remember in the stillness of this precious moment that love is all there is.

 

We both have been through the loss of our mates, our mother and father and as the years have flown by we have lost time with each other. Today we return to the simple pleasures of being alive because we have weathered the storms and moved through our grieving hearts able to rise up and receive what gives life. Standing together and sharing the wisdom of what has been in the past, with some of our falseness fallen away, we are fully present with each other even if we are not talking, just being ourselves.

 

Knowing someone deeply is such a treasure and as we share with one another our hurts, our pains and our joy. Speaking from the heart or gazing into the eyes of another we realize that they have been where we have. That they have touched those stirring waters as emotions ripple deeply within. We can open ourselves to this deep stillness inside and know that others are the same. We can receive the moment and allow our internal eyes to see beyond the image of aging and find that sweet spot within our open heart. Here we can rest for awhile as our breath leads us to our own heartbeat. Our whole world is within us and yet how much of our ourselves do we share with another? We are planting new seeds in every moment and these intimate moments can become the flowers of tomorrow's happiness.

 

Today as I sit, discovering who I am, I am humbled by the knowing that even though the dramas of life continues to move through my blood, I can fully embrace it all as I breathe into the quiet where God has no language. In the stillness I find the peace and remember that all is well as I let go once again to find that seed that has been planted within me. The spark of light that needs my attention. I breathe in and allow in the fullness of being here with all of the memories of days gone by and return to the presence that is my inner strength as peace and serenity find me. In this garden where all begins to bloom, I feel a power greater than my little self showing me the way as I become that flower receiving the light of a radiant sun. I have gazed into the eyes of life itself and allowed it to bring me happiness. I am here to grow and every part of life has made it so.

Blessed Be,

Frannie

Living in the Heart

"My heart is burning with love

    All can see the flame
 My heart is pulsing with passion
   Like waves on an ocean."- Rumi

Living on an island as an artist was always a dream of mine since I was a little girl. I sit here now on Anna Maria Island wrapped up in the incredible feeling I have inside of me, knowing that spirit guided my way to this very moment. Island living was always calling me. I wanted to get away from the busy life in Toronto where I was caught up in the external world of validation. Every breath of clean air was vital to my health. I was sick and tired and spiraling down into my own emotional chaos. One day I heard my inner most quiet voice tell me to let go of the world I was immersed in and come back to myself. Nature was calling me and with trembling steps I was led to the Gulf of Mexico. When I arrived, there was a knowing within that this voice deep inside was guiding me back home to where I belong.

I need stillness.  It's right here within my reach and a breath away. I wake up to this new morning with all the time I need to bring myself into the place where I truly want to live.

This is my spiritual practice as I step away from all of my responsibilities and listen to my heart- it calls me. Sometimes I can give myself an hour and sometimes five minutes. As I take care of myself in this way, I have so much more to give. This act of kindness towards myself shifts me into a familiar place inside. Even when there are many feelings to touch, I allow myself the space to just be here.

Living so close to nature feeds me. I feel the impulse to go for a walk down to the beach and every step I take is a mindful act of letting go of everything I think I know. I take off the masks, I have no credentials and I unveil myself. As I make my way down the street I hear the different voices of nature even if my mind is still chattering away. I walk on like a pilgrim with my heart leading the way as I commune once again in God's cathedral.

I give myself permission to let go of the busy world and commitments and nature is my confidant. I walk into this day with my connection to something bigger. I listen to the birds, the waves, the sounds of children enjoying the surf. I get pulled into the richness of what is here before me and what is inside of me. Nature holds the space for me to enter a stillness that truly speaks loudly. I listen to the waves as its music pushes on my feelings. I am held just as I am. It doesn't take the trauma of my youth away or protect me from the hurts and pain.  I begin to touch the truth under all of the chaos and a peace beyond all understanding lifts me into a greater mind. You can call it the mind of God or the vast silence. I feel more comfortable in my skin.

I choose to enter my own heart and the truth gives me balance. Here I clear my own space and begin to lighten up and clarity happens. I notice that my mind is not filled with chatter anymore. Wisdom keeps me company. My deepest pleasure comes, because I chose not to read that text that just popped up on my phone. I found peace because I decided not to go and read those endless emails or turn on the television. I received the joy of feeling alive and connected with silence. I chose to walk on the beach and nourish myself with a love that gave to me without me putting on makeup, curling my hair or putting on a special outfit. I just listened to my heart and took the leap into what is already here.

By the time I got back to the house, I felt the creativity flowing. I pulled out my paints and pens and began to express what was inside of me. I let my heart guide me and how happy I felt because I gave myself moments of stillness. The passion was not separate from me. It was filling me up. I was ignited and burning with love that was inside of my own heart.
 

Nature brings you back to yourself! Choosing to take the time to go outside to nature and smell the roses so to speak.

Here on my island I can open to the smell of a hibiscus or the salt air. Here I let go into a timeless place where I am intimate with myself. Opening like the flower to receive the light that is always present. Here I listen and I am heard and now I can value myself a little more. Now I fall in love and see the one before me is my opportunity to share.

This life we live is real and it is our calling to create it from our own passionate connection to source within.

Be still and listen to the quiet.
Be the instrument as you allow yourself to express the ocean of your own devotion.

Then the phone call comes and a voice on the other end is a call for love. "Come right over", I answer without hesitation.  With my heart wide open I get off of the couch and put on the kettle for tea.
My heart is burning with love to share!

Happy Valentine's Day to all.
Love and blessings,

Frannie

The True Spirit of Christmas: The Gift That Costs Nothing

Today I gently allow spirit to awaken me as I open my eyes to daylight. Everything around me seems crazy and all that I can think of is the worst. The season of holiday cheer is close and yet the moment here is all consuming as I relapse into fear. All I can do is breathe and let go as the Holy Spirit fills me up. It is all here, held in the presence. I turn more deeply inward and upward I gaze into the mind that holds no judgment. It is all sacred and holy as I put everything on the altar upon my heart and pray. All the suffering that has occurred because I forgot that everything is part of this experience called life and the presence can hold it all. There is nowhere to go but inside to this stillness where all is and allow the healing to begin. Why do we forget that God is right here waiting for us to return and feel the love that is unconditional?

Peace begins to rise up through the cracks where I sit and witness it all. I am letting go again and again until the fullness of being here is rooted and grounded in my being. I hear the sounds of people singing Christmas carols outside my window. I let the music touch me as I remember being a child, sitting in wonder as I looked around the living room watching my mother decorate our tree as she put the tinsel strand by strand on every branch. It was a sight to see when she was finished. The lights were shimmering and every ornament was perfectly hung. She was an artist and as she focused on the task at hand, our home was filled once again with the spirit of Christmas. My mother gave to us in the spirit of self- expression. In that moment, it was the peace that I felt as my mother let go of all the challenges and anguish that was taking her away from her heart.

Our truest self is completely free and not crippled by our past deeds or even concerned with building itself up through wealth or fame. I feel we have everything in our own power to get in touch with our magnificent self and bring it to light. This is the being that lives and expresses through us right now and this is who God intends us to be. Through love and compassion we do get closer to the genuine star that shines within.

This is the true meaning of Christmas as peace abides within the moment where only love can be shared. In God all things are possible as you let go of the idea that you are separate from your creator.

This is our song to sing as we reach inside and listen to the music of the angels. They rejoice in our freedom to be fully here without the burden of the ego mind that wants to control and keep us in the thoughts of limitation and lack. Oh how many times I have journeyed away from the truth that I am worthy of this beautiful place within where love abides. How difficult my life is when I think I can control what is around me? How sweet it is to return to the comfort of my own open heart where each of us are joined with the same love that created us.

Peace only comes when we align ourselves with our relationship with God, the Universe, Spirit, or Higher Power. This sacred and holy place is where we dwell in Oneness as we decorate our Christmas trees and light up our homes with the ornaments. We bring ourselves inward and breathe into our hearts as we remember what is important. We free ourselves by releasing the past that imprisons us and our brothers and sisters. We let go of the thoughts that keep us guilty or others in guilt. We begin again in joy and celebration as we create a new year that awakens us all into the spirit of love where we see all of our relations as holy. Here in our hearts we are free to give the greatest gift of acceptance, which is unconditional love and share the food that has fed us.

Love is the light that shines through your heart. You become the star that shines into the darkness as you illuminate from the inside and share this love with all that are present. You unwrap the moment as presence fills you up and love is given freely through your receiving. This is the gift that costs nothing. Our lives are gifts from God and what we do with it is up to us.

Today is the day to remember how precious this life is and all who come to share with us during this holiday season.

At this time of celebration throughout our world, we join our hearts with one another as devoted celebrants of diverse ceremonies and celebrations.

Merry Christmas and Blessed and Happy Holidays to All!

All my love,

Frannie

True Love : A Tribute to Marylou Baer

Everyone has left the cottage. I am here, alone for the first time since the passing of both my mother and father. I am sitting in their bedroom that is the second story of the house. I have my chair right up against the huge window that overlooks the lake and the birch trees. As I listen to the sound of the wind caressing the leaves and making conversation with all of my senses, I hear the silence of this sacred place pull me deep within to the core of my being where Spirit waits for my joining. Memories seem to pass through like clips from a movie. Feelings move through as well as I let go of participating with the mind. I just want to be quiet.

I sit comfortably deep inside the seat of consciousness where I am aware of Self as everything around me is just being. My heart opens wide to receive the energy that flows through this moment.

My first mother-in-law is dying right now as I type these words. Even though her son Kim and I did not stay married, Marylou has been a constant beacon of light in my life since the day I met her, 38 years ago. She had courage to keep living her life fully even after her diagnosis with cancer years ago. Her love of God and Jesus has inspired me in countless ways as her undying faith kept her going daily. Her selfless love was given to all of us and unconditionally you felt God's light shining on you through her eyes, her touch and her words. I am grateful to have her as a mom, a friend and companion through my life.

I am thousands of miles from her beside yet as I sit in prayer this day, I empty myself to be in communion with the Divine as I feel myself being lifted upwards. There is space between me and the thoughts and emotions inside. How easy it would be to cry right now and feel the sadness of death that is around my loved ones. I fall inside to join with my spiritual being. This pure energy envelops me and takes me to a sweet spot deep within where I am open to the beauty and appreciation that Spirit feels. I feel a love gushing inside of me and filling me up. I share this with her. This state of being is where I want to hang out and experience this doorway to God where a tremendous feeling of love, light and Spirit awakens inside. I feel lifted into the Oneness of God. Here there is no separation and it does not matter what religion we are, we are one with all creation. I seem to merge with all the trees, plants, animals, water, earth and rocks that surround this cottage. I feel I am giving through my heart the love that God is always. As I honor all life that is of this world, I get a glimpse of God and I walk closer to Him.

That's what happens when you meditate and pray. You begin to notice Spirit and allow the qualities of the Divine to expand within you. It is all beautiful. This is true love. That's how a mother loves her child. This is how I love my children and my mother loved her children. This selfless love is like God's love for all humanity and all creation.

I speak to Marylou almost every day, even though it might just be for a moment as she is very weak. She has moved into the Hospice House which she had helped build in her home town of Burlington, North Carolina. We would cry on the phone together as she ends the call the way she always has over the last 35 years, "be careful, I love you". The next day when mom was not speaking and only sleeping now, my sister-in law, Karen told me that Kim had walked from the outside into their mom's room and a butterfly was on his shoulder. It stayed in her room while she lay quiet between the worlds. Marylou loved butterflies and felt that she would make her spirit known to us all through the butterfly.

I got off the phone and knew within my heart that Marylou would communicate to me in some way. My niece was visiting and I was sharing the story as we were in the dining room setting the table for dinner. As I spoke of the butterfly story that Karen had shared, the music began to play from the frame on the bookshelf that had the picture of my girlfriend Mary who passed away over 6 yrs. ago. Her picture was surrounded by butterflies. Lindsay and I felt energy move through our body. Truth chills I like to call it. I immediately looked at the clock and it was 5:45 p.m. Maybe Marylou had just passed, we thought in that moment. Later that night I got a call from Karen saying that they didn't feel that mom would make it through the night. She died that morning at 5:45 a.m.

How blessed I am to call Marylou, mom. She has loved her children and has given to her children and the people in her life like God's nature. I bow to this undying love that moved her into the ocean of Divine Oneness where we are always together. I am so grateful to the many gifts that death teaches. How precious life is as we live in this love of Spirit.

Come here my precious one, where death pushed you to the edge

Let go of the veil of fear where we begin again so aware and grateful

The sun paints the earth with the light of a new day as the little bird sings

This is another moment to awaken to the miracle of life that just happens

Drink in the nectar of this presence

Be filled with the Source that is unlimited

Now sit for a while within the heart of consciousness

Awaken to the light that illuminates and lifts you upward

Into the heavens where you listen deeply to the silence

We meet here as the Beloved where nothing is hidden

There is nothing separating the inside from the outside

All is participating with creation as you are touched by God's power

The hand that holds us all in this Holy and sacred moment beyond time

Who are you?

Oh, but a part of all that is

When the broken pieces of life open up to reveal all that exists within

As peace renews

Now simply, in your thoughts and actions

Return to the Source of Being.

Marylou Baer

May 11, 1930 - September 14, 2012

Your Own Secret Garden

BLOOM INFO FULLNESS!

I love this time of year when I can open the windows and doors and invite the glorious outside in. The fragrance of jasmine and honey suckle fill the room as the sounds of nature call me to move to the meditation garden I have created.  As I sit here in my comfortable chair with my writing pad on my lap, I allow Mother Nature to nurture me.  I receive the beauty of all that is blooming in loveliness for me. The colors and shapes of the flowers are lush, reminding me of all of the abundance that is present in my life.  I begin to reach into the pots and pluck out the weeds as I acknowledge the thoughts of lack that can hold me back.  

When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but on the abundance that's present, the feelings of lack fall away and we can experience the joy in our ordinary day.   

As I breathe consciously the moment becomes an entry way inward. Dissolving into all that is in the moment allows me to feel or just be with myself without judgment. I come to this place countless times yet as I enter through my heart I am like an innocent child awakening to a new experience. This is where I anchor in the present moment as it opens me up to receive the spiritual food that brings me life. I bathe in the love as I lose myself in this state of being. I retreat into my own secret garden inside.

Words cannot truly express the feeling of becoming one with all creation. Mystics and poets try to describe the beauty of it all yet never to quite touch it through expression. To be it is like finding a jewel in a pile of rocks. It takes your breath away and yet when you arrive; you know in every cell of your being that this is home- your true state of being.

Living in this state is what we all long for. The outside world can bring us to the doorway yet the true experience is inward. It is an inside job for sure.

In a holy instant, as we  let go and surrender to the ocean of love it will sweep us up or even swallow us whole.

To sustain this state is a challenge as life outside continues to pull us away. My open and grateful heart brings me to union with the silent language of spirit that speaks. I listen to what  arises up through the moment of complete acceptance.

The jewel is held tenderly within the heart. The light illuminates and fills the entire moment with a feeling that lifts me up into higher consciousness. The sounds of the world begin to sing the praises to God.

 I silently shout out without making a noise, celebrating the very moment of union with the Divine.

Here I am filled with all that I need. Here I know that this life is unfolding just as it will- spilling into every part of this journey. As I accept myself with all that is good and bad without judgment, I am allowing my true self to emerge and be the vessel for love to now bathe the world. In all sorts of ways I can be authentically Me. Sharing myself as a beacon of light, illuminating the path that unifies and joins with all I meet.

The fullness of the moment gives without conditions as it shares love. To be love is truly the state of being that heals the past and allows the future to arrive.

There is no other day to begin but today, as you bloom like any flower in your garden of life. Let yourself become the fullness of your loving heart and the essence is the fragrance that touches this world like a breath of springtime.
 

All My Love,

Frannie