Upcoming Circle of Light Meditations with Frannie!

True Love : A Tribute to Marylou Baer

Everyone has left the cottage. I am here, alone for the first time since the passing of both my mother and father. I am sitting in their bedroom that is the second story of the house. I have my chair right up against the huge window that overlooks the lake and the birch trees. As I listen to the sound of the wind caressing the leaves and making conversation with all of my senses, I hear the silence of this sacred place pull me deep within to the core of my being where Spirit waits for my joining. Memories seem to pass through like clips from a movie. Feelings move through as well as I let go of participating with the mind. I just want to be quiet.

I sit comfortably deep inside the seat of consciousness where I am aware of Self as everything around me is just being. My heart opens wide to receive the energy that flows through this moment.

My first mother-in-law is dying right now as I type these words. Even though her son Kim and I did not stay married, Marylou has been a constant beacon of light in my life since the day I met her, 38 years ago. She had courage to keep living her life fully even after her diagnosis with cancer years ago. Her love of God and Jesus has inspired me in countless ways as her undying faith kept her going daily. Her selfless love was given to all of us and unconditionally you felt God's light shining on you through her eyes, her touch and her words. I am grateful to have her as a mom, a friend and companion through my life.

I am thousands of miles from her beside yet as I sit in prayer this day, I empty myself to be in communion with the Divine as I feel myself being lifted upwards. There is space between me and the thoughts and emotions inside. How easy it would be to cry right now and feel the sadness of death that is around my loved ones. I fall inside to join with my spiritual being. This pure energy envelops me and takes me to a sweet spot deep within where I am open to the beauty and appreciation that Spirit feels. I feel a love gushing inside of me and filling me up. I share this with her. This state of being is where I want to hang out and experience this doorway to God where a tremendous feeling of love, light and Spirit awakens inside. I feel lifted into the Oneness of God. Here there is no separation and it does not matter what religion we are, we are one with all creation. I seem to merge with all the trees, plants, animals, water, earth and rocks that surround this cottage. I feel I am giving through my heart the love that God is always. As I honor all life that is of this world, I get a glimpse of God and I walk closer to Him.

That's what happens when you meditate and pray. You begin to notice Spirit and allow the qualities of the Divine to expand within you. It is all beautiful. This is true love. That's how a mother loves her child. This is how I love my children and my mother loved her children. This selfless love is like God's love for all humanity and all creation.

I speak to Marylou almost every day, even though it might just be for a moment as she is very weak. She has moved into the Hospice House which she had helped build in her home town of Burlington, North Carolina. We would cry on the phone together as she ends the call the way she always has over the last 35 years, "be careful, I love you". The next day when mom was not speaking and only sleeping now, my sister-in law, Karen told me that Kim had walked from the outside into their mom's room and a butterfly was on his shoulder. It stayed in her room while she lay quiet between the worlds. Marylou loved butterflies and felt that she would make her spirit known to us all through the butterfly.

I got off the phone and knew within my heart that Marylou would communicate to me in some way. My niece was visiting and I was sharing the story as we were in the dining room setting the table for dinner. As I spoke of the butterfly story that Karen had shared, the music began to play from the frame on the bookshelf that had the picture of my girlfriend Mary who passed away over 6 yrs. ago. Her picture was surrounded by butterflies. Lindsay and I felt energy move through our body. Truth chills I like to call it. I immediately looked at the clock and it was 5:45 p.m. Maybe Marylou had just passed, we thought in that moment. Later that night I got a call from Karen saying that they didn't feel that mom would make it through the night. She died that morning at 5:45 a.m.

How blessed I am to call Marylou, mom. She has loved her children and has given to her children and the people in her life like God's nature. I bow to this undying love that moved her into the ocean of Divine Oneness where we are always together. I am so grateful to the many gifts that death teaches. How precious life is as we live in this love of Spirit.

Come here my precious one, where death pushed you to the edge

Let go of the veil of fear where we begin again so aware and grateful

The sun paints the earth with the light of a new day as the little bird sings

This is another moment to awaken to the miracle of life that just happens

Drink in the nectar of this presence

Be filled with the Source that is unlimited

Now sit for a while within the heart of consciousness

Awaken to the light that illuminates and lifts you upward

Into the heavens where you listen deeply to the silence

We meet here as the Beloved where nothing is hidden

There is nothing separating the inside from the outside

All is participating with creation as you are touched by God's power

The hand that holds us all in this Holy and sacred moment beyond time

Who are you?

Oh, but a part of all that is

When the broken pieces of life open up to reveal all that exists within

As peace renews

Now simply, in your thoughts and actions

Return to the Source of Being.

Marylou Baer

May 11, 1930 - September 14, 2012