It's the dawn of a new year and here I am, standing at the doorway where my heart whispers softly. Yet again life has brought me to let go of false securities and attachments that only bring suffering. I get clouded by what I think I know. As the fear takes hold of me, I am grateful to have a practice that helps me to receive all that is in the now without running away from my heart. So many of us have had a challenging year and yet as I look around, I see the courage it takes to walk on and trust in this incredible plan that is unfolding.
Change happens all the time. It squeezes us and pushes on all that feels vulnerable inside where we cling onto the past and all that keeps us in a holding pattern. In the uncertainty of this chaotic moment, we can feel the fear of what's going to happen next. We can feel all that rises up and know that as we look deeply at all of our emotions, the joy and sorrow, there is a gentle tenderness that allows it all to pass. We aren't given any promises here yet as we return to a grateful heart we can open to this brilliant self that has wisdom from all that has been experienced.
This holiday season brought me to my knees. It was not easy to keep going when each moment only offered discomfort. I watched my loved one in suffering and all I could do was pray and return to myself even though the feelings were hard to touch. It was okay to be so raw and yet open to it all. I didn't need to be fixed and just being here was enough as I watched life around me spiral into the darkest of places.
My Christmas tree fell down 4 times. It was so symbolic. Yet, I breathed in and with the help of family and friends the tree found it's solid foundation again. With lights sparkling in its simple way, I knew without a doubt that my heart would lead the way. Held in my own conscious breath I did not get swept away by all of the inner emotions. I let myself in as I was tender towards all that was moving through- even if some moments I would get caught up in the panicked feelings. I was okay as I watched it all unfold before my eyes.
I believe everything comes around again until we learn the lessons that it brings. There can be a silver lining in all that life has brought us. The truth that gets revealed isn't always seen right away. Detachment with love opens the door to infinite possibilities. This choice can free us all to take good care of ourselves. Here we can care for others and trust in our Higher Power to take over.
Today, all is calm. I sit in the quiet of my home, with the windows wide open, I hear the cars drive down my street. I have listened to my heart as it guides me to this doorway. This new day, this new year, I bow down to God and receive the inspiration of just being open to what is. Accepting what is in every moment doesn't always happen until we work through our feelings. Sometimes we feel strong and sometimes weak. Meditation and mindful living just allows it all to come and go until the space inside gets clear.
Once again I am humbled by being present as I let go of any old stories or negative thinking. I feel the lightness within my quiet mind and open heart. I know I can be the change in this ever changing world.
Be Still and Breathe into this moment where you awaken to the beauty that illuminates you from the inside.
Be aware of what is present within, as you accept yourself just as you are.
You are a child of God, worthy to be loved and to love.
Your open heart is the doorway!