"So come to the pond, or the river of your imagination, or the harbor of your longing. And put your lips to the world and live your life."- Mary Oliver
The gardens that have bloomed around me are exploding with colors. The birds are singing louder today as I watch a black bird scoop down on the patio in front of me, making a swooshing sound that gets my attention. The sky is covered with some clouds and the brilliant blue peeks through. I see like I am Dorothy waking up in Oz. I had cataract surgery a few weeks ago and the colors are breath taking. I am so grateful as I receive the aliveness of this day that awakens my inner senses and fills me with this beautiful feeling of belonging.
I meet this day like an empty vessel. I am being filled by this spring day. This incredible way that nature reminds me to be in this solitude within as I keep company with my soul. This inner reality where I consciously begin to join with the rhythm of my own unique life within. Here I reacquaint myself consciously with the maternal, honoring and listening to my deepest needs.
The miracles are seen when I sit quiet for a while. Even though the loud sounds of the world begin to push on this private time, I lean in and get closer to the stillness in the center of myself. I begin to receive the miracle of this precious life. It wasn't easy going through the cataract surgery. I was high risk going into the operating room and surprised when I found out in the recovery room that the surgeon had to do an anterior vitrectomy. The healing process was more fragile because a few days later my retina did tear. The time to heal was a most precious gift. How grateful I am to have a partner, Robert, who holds me close and reminds me that all is well. My children who express to me their love in so many ways, gives me comfort as I witness the ways they take care of themselves. How proud I am to be their mother and now a Grandmother.
The gift of sight cannot be taken for granted as the beauty of the world fills me up with appreciation this day. It's Mother's Day weekend! I remember how brave my mother was when she lost her sight with macular degeneration. I remember all she had to touch within her own torment with Alzheimer's. I remember my mother today as I wipe from my memories all that seemed hard to watch as my heart opens compassionately to allow myself to melt into the deeply comforting energy of Divinity. This love nurtures and sustains me as I retreat inside my heart.
I bow to you my mother as my inner sight gently touches her as I begin to see clearly the opening within. I begin to see how my mother would do the Russian dance and fall and laugh as she told stories of being woken up in the night while visiting her native land Czech Republic and in her night gown had to dance for the soldiers. I begin to laugh at some of her jokes that she would repeat through her life. I see these moments where my mother sang her polish favorites and cooked cabbage rolls, pierogi's and many other delicious food, always creating a beautiful home. She loved her children and grandchildren and cherished her moments to play with them and do art projects, dressing up and going shopping. How one life could be such a teacher for my own mothering! I celebrate my mother's life and how I learned to love the feminine spirit within me that is home inside my own heart always waiting to take care of me.
While I am writing these words, my daughter Lane Facetimes and there on the screen of my computer is my 6-month-old grandson Theo, smiling and laughing. The picture I see of him gazing at his mother brings me into this precious moment honoring my daughter Lane, who is a great, wise and loving new mom.
Happy Mother's Day to you all!
May we celebrate the gift of our birth and this life that has been given to us.
All my love,
Frannie
