“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Last night, as I woke up with a mind that was reliving difficult times from my past, I could feel myself releasing the traumas. My deep sleeps can be a time of healing and releasing these wounds from my cellular memory. These days, the pandemic provides fertile ground for fearful thoughts to overtake me in the present moment. I know these thoughts will take me to scary places if I follow. Instead, I reach for Spirit, which opens the doorway to the light.
At the end of April, I got sick with Covid-19. The virus knocked me down and stopped me in my tracks. Sometimes breathing was such an effort. I felt like I was climbing on top of a high mountain and I couldn’t take in enough oxygen. At those times, I couldn’t reach for Spirit. All I could do was let go, surrender, and trust that my breath would return. From that place, I could see Spirit working through all my loving friends and family as God’s arms lifted me up and gave me the support I needed. I had Robert with me and virtual support from all over. I could feel the energetic hands and words of love that reached through the phone as I gazed at my daughter’s or son’s face. My grandson Theo, my sisters, and friends were there for me with their love and prayers. They dropped off food, groceries, and even money to help me get my needs met. This was another experience that I would never wish on anyone yet going through it has purified me. As I got clearer in knowing the gifts that my soul showed me through these trying times, I believe that everything happens for a reason even though sometimes we don’t see it right away.
Even amid the fear and challenges we are forced to encounter with this new coronavirus, there is growth. Perhaps this experience will wake us up to the idea that the ever-expanding, intelligent Universe is pushing us all individually and collectively to evolve. Unsettling times bring us to our worries—I know they do for me. How do we respond to this changing world? And most important, how do we find peace inside and overcome the fear and helpless feelings that we face when we reach in and touch our wounds? Being aware of what is going on in our bodies can bring us to a greater understanding of the feelings and perceptions of our human self. As we learn, we shift. And as evolving beings, we can choose to reach a higher consciousness.
These pandemic times push us all deeper into ourselves. It pushed me into trusting God/Universe and showed me that she was doing it. I had to stop fighting and just surrender to the truth that I was taken care of. In my vulnerability, I can move out of my ego where God begins to change my mind. As I face myself so intimately, I uncover and let myself be exposed. The light of my true self channels through my heart no matter how unworthy I think I am. It’s just a moment in time where my human self provides the opening for Divine Source to come in. My healed, calm body settles into this moment where I can see all the beauty in my daily living.
Today, I seek the truth as the light reflects to me what my heart knows. In the clarity of my mind, I see how beautiful it is as I get a glimpse of the divine looking back at me through all that walk with me. Nature in its glory speaks through the silence that we are all connected. This deep connection fills me up like the scent of the jasmine.
