Begin

As I stand here in this moment with you, on the threshold of a new year, I share this gift of life that expresses through our joined hearts no matter what is going on in our experience of the world. We have this incredible opportunity to give birth to the highest possibility within us. To create ourselves as we remember what a blessing we are to everyone who touches our life in some way. We recognize that we have choices that can be made in each moment. As we let go of fears, insecurities, and negative beliefs that hold us back from the happiness that our hearts long for, we become more authentically our true self.  As we approach this time with a deeper devotion, we pray not just for ourselves but for all our relations.

I like to prepare myself for this new beginning as I offer myself fully to my meditation on New Year's Eve morning. Breathing consciously brings me inward as I hold the past year within my heart as a precious gift that has moved me into my greater being.  I allow my inner eyes to reveal to me the many moments that have brought me to new understandings. I let myself be focused, as I rise from a new depth of awareness that has carved away the parts of me that are like an old garment that cannot be worn anymore. This life review helps me to let go of the painful experiences as forgiveness shines light on all that can be held in this loving embrace.

Last year my mother past away and there have been so many loved ones sick or dying. The grief has been my constant companion. As months pass by, the gift of feeling myself fully has cracked me wide open. I chose not to run from the pain of losing my mother to compassionately holding myself with greater love and understanding. My father has been stalked by death this whole year and yet he is still here with a will that teaches me constantly to rise up each day with acceptance and trust.

As the holidays came closer, my husband and I decided to take our children, Luke and Lane, on a cruise for Christmas. To be in the womb of the ship as we shared this week together brought me so much more than any material gift under the tree. I was devoted totally to being with my husband and kids without any distractions like cooking, cleaning, cell phones or computers. Being together in this way gave me so much life as I drank in every moment that we had. I watched the days unfold without much planning and it seemed like the days were etched in my heart and every moment remembered as I just showed up open and in gratitude. I loved observing Luke and Lane as young adults and seeing them for who they are; kind, compassionate and loving in their unique beautiful ways.

The first day at sea we were swimming in the salt water pool as I connected with a woman named Kitty who was traveling with her father and her 18 yr. old son. We did not really talk much about our lives. We just connected in a comfortable way that soul family does. She was a light and I was attracted to her presence for sure. Throughout the week we would run into each other and even though there were 1,200 on the ship, it was as if the world wasn't that big and our connection was familiar. We would invite her to dance with us as Luke and Lane showed us different line dances. We just had fun!

During the week there was a karaoke competition where judges were going to pick the Superstar of the week. Luke's dream is to share his music with the world. He continues to write songs and do his gigs out in California. Each night we would go to the upstairs lounge and listen to Luke perform. The last night they were holding the finals on the big stage with the cruise ship band and everyone came out to support the finalists. Luke chose to sing Stand By Me. This was a song that he sang since he was 6 years old.

A couple of years ago, Luke was laid off from his engineering job in L. A. and he decided to put all his attention into his dream. As a singer, songwriter and guitarist, he wanted to break into the music industry and live his passion. We supported him in this choice and yet my father told him that it wasn't a good idea and it was not secure enough. A few days later, I had brought my parents to the airport and I was sitting with them at the gate when the song Stand By Me was playing through the intercom. My father started to get choked up and as he was crying, he said "Listen to the song. That is Luke singing to us. We need to stand by him. We need to support his decision to bring his music into the world."

I told this story to Luke that day on the cruise ship. I know that he needed to know how his Papa was standing by him, no matter what. As we walked to the main stage that night, I saw Kitty and invited her to come and watch Luke perform. Just as it was starting, she came and I pulled up a chair beside us. The lights went down and the singer from the band began to sing "Aint No Mountain High Enough". I felt energy moving through me. This is a song that my sisters and I sang to my mom right up to her time of passing. She was here with us. They called Luke out as the first contestant. I saw him for a moment as that 6 yr. old little boy. Luke stepped into the light and I watched him sing that song like never before. Every part of him was shining and his voice was filled with presence. His smile and eyes connected with everyone in that audience. It was the love of God expressing through my son the words for all of us to hear:to stand by him no matter what. Moments into the song Kitty looked at me and said," Does Luke have an agent?" I turned towards her and said, "No, he does not". "Well, I am an agent," she exclaimed with calmness.  We continued to watch the show with great enthusiasm and at the end they announced Luke as the Superstar. Kitty opened up her purse and handed me her business card. Her agency name was PRESENCE.

 We can't imagine what these moments are for. For me, it is all guidance. God is speaking through every one of us and all creation. We just have to be present enough to get the message.

The moment I met Kitty I felt the connection. It is all energy and even if nothing happens with her, it all seems to be a symbol that holds truth for Luke's journey to live his passion. We are all a blessing to each other when we live consciously connected to our true authentic self.  Here we are placing our trust in the mystery of the Universe as God is our partner.

It begins with you.

Place your intention in your heart and

 no matter what happens, stand in your spirit

 and give it the constant care and nourishment that it needs.

This is a new day, a new year.

It is a moment in time where you can fully step into the garment of your true self.

 Leave behind all that holds you back. Let go of the stories that deny your dream. 

Let your passion for living right now take you into the heart of the One that creates worlds. 

Let yourself be seen and see the world with the eyes of great love. Watch how the inside creates the outside.

 Bow now to all the ones who meet you here and

 recognize the gift of life that is present

 just because you choose to be here. 

Say what you feel now.

 Love what you love now

 and let your grateful heart 

walk through the doorway of 2011