Your time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.
Don’t be trapped by dogma which is living with the results of other peoples thinking.
Don’t let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice.
And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition… they somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary.
-Steve Jobs
(1955-2011)
I’m standing at my kitchen counter waiting for my test results. It’s part of my routine physical. I know in every fiber of my being that I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. So why do I feel so anxious?
Finally the phone rings and the results confirm what I already know – everything is normal. A dam inside me breaks as my joy and relief spill out through my happy tears. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been told my liver was not normal. And year after year after year, the test results have supported that claim. As many of you already know, I have dedicated much of my life to serving humanity by allowing myself, to the best of my ability, to be a vessel so that God can work with me and through me. A big part of my commitment involves lifestyle choices that support the healthy growth and healing of my mind, body and spirit. At times it is hard to stay on the path of what we want, especially when others around us have lost their own battles. Guilt sometimes swallows me up as I wonder why I should believe I could get well when loved ones have remained sick or even died.
Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I reach with my mind and heart to God as I pray: Dear God, let me be an instrument of your peace. Help me to share your divine loving presence as I trust that I can stay open to whatever I meet today.
I breathe into my body and receive myself. Then I quietly rise up out of bed in the darkness of the bedroom and fumble my way to the living room. Putting on my robe, I ease into my favorite chair. No one can calm me and bring me peace except God. I know that being calm and quiet not only serves me but I am sure God can make better use of me, as well.
I settle into my body and feel whatever is lurking in the deepest parts of my being. I know answers to any of my problems come when I am willing to face my uncomfortable feelings and difficult thoughts. When I stay with these shameful hurts and pains within, something inside softens. The fear of staying here loosens its hold and breathing begins to quiet the mind allowing the dense thought-forms to fall away. I know that the only way out of my self-imposed pain is to go inward to hold it. Here I begin to remember that I am a child of God.
As I pray and contemplate this connection inside, I find the inner strength that helps me handle the darkness of the world. I also feel that meditation can help us handle all of the powerful light that is coming in at this time. As we are called to live bigger and brighter, sometimes our resistance gets bigger, as well. I witness how afraid we are to live our truest potential. We are afraid to fully let our light shine. Our addictions keep us trapped and muted. Can we be love with conviction? Can we see the miracle we are just by choosing to be peace? Can we open our hearts and share this food that light offers to the hungry? I think we all want that peace but first we must forgive the past. Can we let go of those moments that brought us to our knees when we uncovered the lie of unworthiness? Forgiving is part of the miracle.
Living love and being the light for another is truly a gift. Nowhere on this earth have I experienced this gift more profoundly than when I have stood before the one people call John of God.
I have been to Brazil to visit John of God two times before. Yet this trip brought me to understand more deeply how living to serve this food called love is our greatest gift. When I speak of love here, I mean divine love, God’s love. I believe that life brings us to more of it if we can be in the direct experience of any given moment. In the present moment, if we accept who we are, with all our fears and all our shame, then we will see that our feelings do not have to separate us. We can join together in the one mind of God.
As I look around the hall where many wait to see John of God, I am humbled by these brave souls in wheel chairs, on crutches and being carried. The sick and the dying, the searchers for truth all gather in this sacred holy place called Casa de Dom Inacio de Loyola in Abadiania, Brazil. Everyone wears white; we are all the same here. We take our turn to stand in the presence of a man who has committed his life to the healing of the collective society. As a medium for God, he becomes a hollow reed. Medium Joao radiates unconditional love that heals those who need healing. In the presence of this love, fear dissolves. If enough of us stand in the light of true love, not simplistic love, but strong divine God love, then there is peace and this creates a force field of healing light.
No matter who we are, we have things to do to fulfill the calling of our souls. We are called to be authentically ourselves as best as we can be. We are challenged each day to dig deeper into ourselves to find out who we really are and to choose to live differently. Each of us, no matter who we are, can align ourselves with a better idea. All of us need more quiet time, not to retreat from the world but to merge with the treasures and richness of just being.
My father died the day after my arrival in Abadiania. It pushed me deeply into grief as I longed to touch my father again. I wanted to feel his spirit with me. I prayed and meditated. I walked in silence as my intention to be more present revealed many thoughts and feelings. I felt, I cried, I allowed myself to just be with me.
My friend Kristine and I were waiting our turn to stand before John of God. I left my seat to take a walk on the beautiful grounds outside the hall. Thousands were there that day because it was the week of John’s birthday. As I walked, I was drawn to the grotto where there are statues of saints and flowering bushes. Tears flowing down my face, I talk to my dad. I miss him and feel so far away from home. I begin talking as if he were right there. “I know you are around me dad. I know you are here with me in spirit but do you think you could give me another physical visitation?” After he died his spirit visited me as a hummingbird and the joy of that moment was so healing for me. Was it too soon for me to ask him to be with me? Am I pulling him away from something more important? I just wanted him here and hoped that another hummingbird might grace the moment with its splendor. I waited and I waited and I waited. Finally, as I went back into the hall where I left Kristine, inside my head I hear a voice say, “when you go inside, someone will approach you to sit in your chair and you will let them.” This voice is so much louder and clearer here in Brazil.
Kristine took her turn to stretch her legs. Within a few minutes a beautiful, tall young woman in her 30s with a crutch under her arm approached me and asked if she could sit on the vacant chair. I looked up with great satisfaction and said, “Yes, sit here in my chair.” The woman who had just taken my seat reached over and held my name tag in her hand and looked into my eyes saying with a German accent, “Frannie Hoffman!” I nodded yes. She then bent closer and said, “I am Katharin Hoffman.” I gasped as tears and excitement moved me to hold her hand and say, “I just asked my dad to give me a sign that he was here with me. YOU are the messenger. My dad’s name is Phil Hoffman.” She replied with bright eyes, “In the town I live in, almost everyone is named Hoffman.” We held each other like long lost relatives. Out of all these people, I heard the guidance to answer my prayer. Dad was right here and meeting me through the eyes of this beautiful soul. She had to be listening to her guidance too! She heard and found herself at this meeting place where God spoke louder than anything else. We exchanged emails and then I was called to make my way through the current room to stand before John of God. My heart was so open and full of this love that I have with my father and this miracle that just took place. He made his way to me through Katharin Hoffman. I felt so humbled by the purity of the moment. How easy it was to ask and then receive the truth. I am here with you, right by your side.
I walked slowly in the line feeling like I was being carried by angels. I listened to the prayers being spoken in Portuguese. I felt the love of so many sitting in pews meditating and radiating their love and support. The walls were filled with holy pictures and music filled the air. It feels like a sacred pilgrimage to meet God through the eyes of Joas De Deus (John of God). For 48 years he has participated in the healing of over 8 million people.
When we give ourselves this deeper connection we can open up to the entire world. We can give and live for others from this full cup. I saw it when I stood in front of John in God. The light of God was spilling out of him like an endlessly flowing river. He was connected inward and sharing from this place where God meets us all. His words, so simple and yet profoundly truthful and filled with spirit, touched the hearts that were open to receive.
When the resistance to the moment falls away, we are the opening. We are the doorway as love enters this world through each of us individually as we join together as one. The joining creates a gateway where light enters to bring many treasures through our gaze, through our eyes, through our touch and through our words. We are the messengers as we let go of the past and allow the present moment to be all that is. When we look into the mirror that this world is, who we are is reflected back and we have another opportunity to share the truth that only the heart can receive. Follow your dream and fully be yourself as you let what you do fill you with enthusiasm. You are brave the moment you enter inside, letting go of what holds you back from fully being here as yourself. Follow your heart for it is the gateway into the power of love that nurtures this dream as you become an instrument for God.
During this Thanksgiving season I am so grateful for the trip to John of God and this sacred journey I have been on to receive the miracle of a healed body. My soul’s desire at this time is to assist in lifting the consciousness of the planet into greater levels of compassion, loving service, and wisdom.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
All my love,
Frannie
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