“The
reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a
loved one, you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild
yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will never be the same. Nor
should you be the same, nor would you want to.”
-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and John
Kessler
The preciousness of this
life, appreciating ourselves and each other and our world seemed to be awakened
more deeply in me during the fragility of the days, weeks and months since the
sudden death of my husband Steve last June. It didn’t matter how emotionally
or physically fit I thought I was, the day my husband died unexpectedly from an
aneurism- I was shattered and broken. The
continuously busy world went on around me as I entered into the valley of
sorrow where my children, family and friends stood with me. I was in shock and the
trauma pushed me inside where all was revealed and uncovered. Moving through
the pain without distraction was the ticket Home. At the time, I was sad, hurt,
angry and alone. The grief devoured me like a hungry animal.
No one can fix us or do this work for us. When I stayed in the missing and
longing for my husband, and some days that is all I could do, I would cry those
buckets of endless tears. I was brought to my knees and to the very roots of
the pain. There was no one to blame for now I had no choice but to deeply face
it all for myself. Here is where some more of the falseness fell away and I
returned to what was true. Now I can see clearer as I look upon my
life up to this moment and listen deeply to what is being given. I can receive
the truth that I am worthy.
As Joseph
Campbell says so beautifully, “the privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are”.
When I
joined with Steve in spirit, my misery faded. Maybe his body was gone but his spirit was brilliant. I witnessed first- hand how this time of
great sorrow was to bring me greater awareness and transformation.
The sadness of a life without him will always be with me
and as the days, weeks, months and now a year has gone by, this missing him is
a constant companion. It is an incredible and life changing experience as I now
can look upon the moment of his transition and I am so grateful to have had
such a man. He led me back to my Beloved. Here we are never separate and never
alone. I walk on in appreciation of life that continues to go on. I can feel
the joy again and that is the gift when you allow sorrow to intimately be your
teacher.
Life on this
earth is a great treasure and we are surrounded by angels. The moment Steve
left his body he was right there in all of his radiance, dialoging with me in
all kinds of ways. Many of my friends and family also had visitations from him
and he even told one of my girl- friends that he would joke with her until I
was ready to play again. These angels or guides are our spirit loved ones
floating around us or walking on this planet with us in physical form. Even the
ones we imagine to be in conflict with us or the ones we view as our enemy,
they are angels. Steve was and still is that angel that has assisted me in
healing and continues to do so. His death was divinely on purpose to bring the
gift of love that never dies.
Writing has
always healed my heart and has helped me to create expression for my soul. I
wrote and wrote through these months and now it is turning into a book called, Good
Grief! Loss- The Doorway to New Life. I hope to have it available by
the New Year. I also would like to share that I will start back with one to one
sessions after my daughter’s wedding which is August 29th. I will send out an
email when I return from California.
In the
meantime, I am excited to share with you my
new co-creation! I wrote a chapter for a collaborative book project called Transform Your Life! that will
feature tools to inspire transformation in readers' lives! At this same
time, the book will feature authors who have overcome tremendous obstacles and
through them found meaning and purpose to not only transform their lives but
the lives of others.
As an author I am able sell books at a discount rate for 20% off. I will
be honored if you will help support me and the book's movement to help people
transform their lives. You can do this by simply spreading the word and/or
purchasing the book to inspire your own life or gift to a friend.
I want to thank you for celebrating with me in this opportunity to
collaborate and make a difference!
This is the link to purchase the book:
When you go to check out use this coupon code:
Coupon Code: frannie20
P.S. The coupon is good on ALL books on Transformation Publishing's site!