Living Awake, Moment by Moment

"You are the sky. Everything else- it's the weather." - Pema Chodron

 

            Sometimes, in a heartbeat, our lives can turn upside down. Change can enter like a tornado bringing us the struggles and challenges that can humble us and move us to fall on our knees, asking for help.

            I found myself filled with emotion the other night when I woke up and walked into the living room in the darkness of the night. The intense feeling, like a tsunami came pushing through me as I fell on the couch, crying uncontrollable tears. The suffering of our humanity is pushing on my heart as I hold myself in this release. How grateful I am to empty this heart of mine that called me to surrender once again. Letting the tears flow, the crying just knows what to do. Empty of these feelings, I rest in this space where I become full of a peace that is truly beyond my own understanding. My emptiness brings calmness to every part of me. I rest on the couch in the early morning dawn, knowing that the suffering of our world is felt within. I am surrendered. Nothing to control. Why do I ever think that control would ever set me free? My past losses showed me how to be fully alive. I do not want to ever throw away the chances to love now.

            Life itself seems to humble me again and again as it moves me to my inner-life. Without love or compassion or even truth, it does not matter if I have all the needs of my physical life met and comforts of my daily living all in tack. If my love light is dim and I'm waiting for money in the bank to take care of myself, I realize that the generosity of love and compassion is all that is needed to keep me fully alive. And then "I go out and make the donuts." Being a counselor is my career but loving compassion is my purpose. It comes from my own inner focus to hold myself just where I am, flawed and fabulous. In this acceptance of my inner self, I can be conscious as I breathe. The veils seem to lift where I am awake. It is here in God's mind where I am fully free. The attachments to this world will never make me truly happy.

            I remember the feeling I had, lying beside my 4-month-old grandson as he looked right into my eyes. He touched my face and pulled me closer as I kissed his cheek. He begins to laugh the way when you are tickled, and you can't stop it if you tried. It's contagious. I laughed with him and he looked deeply into my eyes with a sparkle that lights up my heart. It's as if I can see the whole world through his gaze. Pure joy filled the moment as his whole-body giggled. Now, just thinking about it, the feeling of happiness softens the sadness, despair or depression that ever was. All the fears and worries wash away. It seems to dissolve any toxic emotion or anxiety and there is a deep connection to real- life right here, right now. No medicine is better than laughing from the belly and little Theo brings me to it so naturally. 

            My friend David Sears let go into the Divine presence, Feb. 8^th, 2019, in the early morning. His focus was on the life that continues beyond the body, the transition into the sweetest embrace of Spirit. In his last days, he welcomed death as he welcomed you into his breath. Even though his body was filled with cancer, he said, "it is all wonderful!" I witnessed him as he let his heart wrap around the mystery as if he was having a love affair with his own transition. His commitment to conscious dying brought me into conscious living.

            I sit at the restaurant with my friend and my dog as I watch a little bird coming up to Mollie as she plays with this new friend. A little bird, so joyously hopping around like hide and seek. I feel inside my heart, it's David, my friend, my teacher of living life in love till his transition. "Be happy, be happy- it's wonderful! I hear it inside my mind. If he could, he would shine his spirit through this world to say hi. He loved my Mollie so much that he went out and got his puppy, Sweet Pea.

            David was living awake moment by moment before he slipped out of his body. He modeled for me that I have the choice to let go each day of the attachments to this world of form. To live in the presence of the Divine is like sinking into the deepest ocean of well- being. Here is where we are called to be.

            Happiness is our birthright. When we are in harmony inside, independent of the chaotic conditions outside, truly our minds have let go of interpreting the experience. We just begin to move into the flow of life as it is. The grieving heart takes a break; we make a choice to take off the heavy garments of sadness and sorrow and look in the eyes of this world like a beautiful spring day calling us forth to play. We let go and surrender to the moment at hand where we can walk into a new state of being and in the meantime just get outside and go for a walk.           

          I am deeply guided as my inward focus brings me into my intuitive nature where I embrace it all. It's more than just understanding it with my head. My heart feels the experience of living fully. I look up at the clear blue sky as a new world inside of me is being created.

 

Be awake as you reach into what is here.

Let go and be love now.

 

Blessings and Love, 

Frannie

Your Own Secret Garden

BLOOM INFO FULLNESS!

I love this time of year when I can open the windows and doors and invite the glorious outside in. The fragrance of jasmine and honey suckle fill the room as the sounds of nature call me to move to the meditation garden I have created.  As I sit here in my comfortable chair with my writing pad on my lap, I allow Mother Nature to nurture me.  I receive the beauty of all that is blooming in loveliness for me. The colors and shapes of the flowers are lush, reminding me of all of the abundance that is present in my life.  I begin to reach into the pots and pluck out the weeds as I acknowledge the thoughts of lack that can hold me back.  

When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but on the abundance that's present, the feelings of lack fall away and we can experience the joy in our ordinary day.   

As I breathe consciously the moment becomes an entry way inward. Dissolving into all that is in the moment allows me to feel or just be with myself without judgment. I come to this place countless times yet as I enter through my heart I am like an innocent child awakening to a new experience. This is where I anchor in the present moment as it opens me up to receive the spiritual food that brings me life. I bathe in the love as I lose myself in this state of being. I retreat into my own secret garden inside.

Words cannot truly express the feeling of becoming one with all creation. Mystics and poets try to describe the beauty of it all yet never to quite touch it through expression. To be it is like finding a jewel in a pile of rocks. It takes your breath away and yet when you arrive; you know in every cell of your being that this is home- your true state of being.

Living in this state is what we all long for. The outside world can bring us to the doorway yet the true experience is inward. It is an inside job for sure.

In a holy instant, as we  let go and surrender to the ocean of love it will sweep us up or even swallow us whole.

To sustain this state is a challenge as life outside continues to pull us away. My open and grateful heart brings me to union with the silent language of spirit that speaks. I listen to what  arises up through the moment of complete acceptance.

The jewel is held tenderly within the heart. The light illuminates and fills the entire moment with a feeling that lifts me up into higher consciousness. The sounds of the world begin to sing the praises to God.

 I silently shout out without making a noise, celebrating the very moment of union with the Divine.

Here I am filled with all that I need. Here I know that this life is unfolding just as it will- spilling into every part of this journey. As I accept myself with all that is good and bad without judgment, I am allowing my true self to emerge and be the vessel for love to now bathe the world. In all sorts of ways I can be authentically Me. Sharing myself as a beacon of light, illuminating the path that unifies and joins with all I meet.

The fullness of the moment gives without conditions as it shares love. To be love is truly the state of being that heals the past and allows the future to arrive.

There is no other day to begin but today, as you bloom like any flower in your garden of life. Let yourself become the fullness of your loving heart and the essence is the fragrance that touches this world like a breath of springtime.
 

All My Love,

Frannie