Miracle on 12th Street

I hear him waking up in the other room. His sounds stir in me an excitement to begin this Christmas morning, bathed in the reflection of his presence. Theo, my 2 month old grandson has brought so much joy and laughter into this house on 12th street. This holiday time spent here at my daughter and son in laws home in California with my family has been filled with the miracle of new life.

To watch this precious baby boy’s face as he sees the world all around him. He reaches for the toys hanging in front of him as he opens his fists for the first time. His legs moving to the sounds of Uncle Luke’s original song, Jambalaya of Love that Theo has heard since he was in the womb or the bursts of laughter that come out of this little baby as he screams for joy seeing the face of his mother or father. Then Auntie Mena arrives and the look on his face is of a love that is timeless as she sings the song written just for him. 

Little Theo lifts his hand up to his face for the very first time and stares with a look of wonder. Walking in the park with him as he lays in the pram gazing up at the trees and the blue skies- this first glance at this incredible nature mirroring to him the beauty of creation. I push him up and down the boardwalk as I look at his perfect face- what is he thinking as he sees the birds flying above him. I can’t get enough of him as I look at his smiles that light up my heart. Such a miracle this new life is as my heart fills with so much love that comes so freely in this moment that seems to last for eternity.

It’s a Christmas like no other. I remember my children as babies, yet I know I wasn’t as present as I am at this time of my life. There are moments that I think to myself, “I wish I knew then what I know now, how much easier life would have been.” My daughter is a great mother and Rob so comfortable as a dad. I watch them as they naturally take care of this bundle of pure love.

The mystery of life continues to humble me as I take in all these miracles that are constantly showing me how the spirit of Christmas can live in my heart everyday if I let it. Each day we have an opportunity to renew our sense of the sacred. There are signs of love reaching to touch our hearts where ever we are, as this light is shining in everything we do. 

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to you all!
May Peace fill your hearts each moment of this new year!

Blessings and Love,
Nannie Frannie

New Life

On this day when all you can feel is the breath of love

She believed she could and so she did

Time stands still, as I watch my daughter give birth

She is a Warrior Mama with strength and courage to bring him forth

This Divine Miracle with Father calm by her side

I stand in your presence, little one

I see your face 

As you come into the world

My tears are flowing as the love gushes 

You are the light of my heart

I am in love

 

A bird is screeching. I am pulled out of where I am, listening to its message. I hear him announcing the arrival of this baby boy. I hear the excitement of nature singing her praises of this day. Such a beautiful opportunity to renew our sense of the sacred. There is so much innocence and beauty to be born as I gently move my attention to my heart. I am not missing a thing! Each day, hour by hour, moment by moment, here with my daughter Lane and her husband Rob, is a blessing.

             

It's quite the day! The sun beating down on our bodies as the waves crash towards the shoreline. The birds soaring over the mountain top. I watch and listen to nature being itself. Always the healer and giving me the peace that is beyond all understanding. 

             

My daughter is ready to give birth any day! We sit at the beach as she reads her journal pages to me. She started writing to Theo (baby in utero) since the beginning of this pregnancy. These beautiful words and thoughts she reads to Rob and I, are her inner most feelings about this journey she is on, bringing this precious child into the world. 

             

Another day comes and goes. It's already 10 days after his due date. Choosing to take joy in, I watch Lane move to the music as if she were on a stage, moving her body like a ballerina. The music seems to infuse strength into her limbs and every movement is effortless. Dancing to the songs that feed her soul as every motion is the expression of her deep love for her unborn child. Rob is filming this sacred dance as my eyes fill up with tears. So, cherished are these intimate moments before the birth. It's such a mystery to know when he will arrive. 

             

In the wee hours of the dawn, still dark outside, I wake up remembering my dream. My deceased husband Steve visited. In the dream, Lane is sitting in front of Steve. He is not speaking but his body language shows his excitement. Light illuminates his presence. She bends over to him and kisses his lips and a card, all folded up passes from his lips to hers. She takes the card and unfolds it very slowly, like it is a treasure and it says, "Hi Mama, I can't wait to be in your arms." Spirit speaks the celestial message from beyond.

Another day goes by as we carry on. I go to a yoga class and in the silent place within the pose I honor my urge to check my phone. I see the text from Lane, "my water broke, come home now!" I'm out in a flash and walking quickly down the busy street back to their home, wanting to tell every person passing by that my daughter is about to give birth. I am bursting with joy. The moment has come.

             

At 5:23 am on October 23rd, I witness my daughter giving birth. It was the most beautiful experience of my life. Her courage to move through it all naturally as peace became her mantra on this intimate adventure to motherhood was captivating. Her husband, her rock, speaking words from his heart transporting her to her safe place within. I stand in awe of the miracle of birth as I am aware of the presence that permeates the room. Then I see him. So, tiny with so much strength to come into our world. He is put on Lane's chest as we all cry with his first sound of life. Theo has arrived!

             

A couple of days after his birth, I hold him in my arms. We dance to the music that Theo listened to while he was in Lane's womb. As I gaze into his eyes, I remember this love.

He smiles and those dimples he has are kisses from Steve.

 

I love being his Nannie Frannie...

 

 

Welcome to our world my beautiful grandson, Theo Steven!

 

Namasté, 

Frannie

Come Alive to the Magnificence of Your True Self

This beautiful spring brings so much color as the butterflies come to touch the petals of the incredible flowering plants that cascade in the garden. I look around and see beauty everywhere as the sun touches my skin and I delight in all the new growth.

May is my favorite month of the year. There is so much blooming all around me, not just in my gardens but in my life too! My house is getting fixed up! I had to move every bit of furniture out to refinish the old terrazzo floors. It has been like moving in some ways, putting all of the furnishings in a big pod in my driveway. The weeks leading up to the move, I purged. I let go of so much as I went through the closets that had to be emptied. I was ruthless in this task and now as I walk through the empty rooms, I am excited to have it painted. It truly is creating an opening for new life to emerge. Picking new paint colors and buying new furniture is so much fun. New life is being born through it all, within me and all around. My boyfriend Robert is moving in soon and how wonderful is that! Birth is so lovely as all these changes bring the unknown as I leap into the abyss once again.

Growth can be hard and laboring a new self can be very difficult at times. Maybe I am growing older in age yet through all of life's disappointments hurts and forgotten dreams that die, I realize that the greatest wisdom that life has brought me is to learn the lessons of my soul, however painful it is. Sometimes my mind can take me down and destroy the dreams that are still carefully placed in my heart. The hardships and grief that loss brings can beat me down until I have the courage to take its medicine and realize that the crisis was truly the initiation into the magnificence and fullness of self. I just think that every challenge has made me a better person and each day I wake up and reach for God. Here I pray to be guided and used as an instrument for more peace. Here I remember that meditation and prayer help me to face the darkness in our world so that I don't allow the resistance to spiral me down into the chaos and negativity. In my quiet contemplation, I allow the light of consciousness to shine on all that is within, so I can see the good too! There is so much to be grateful for.

Mother's Day is here! I hold my mom in my heart today, feeling the beauty of her spirit. I miss her, and wouldn't it be nice if she could just walk into my house right now. I talk to her all the time and listen to the ways she speaks to me through this world. The love never dies and even the hardships and challenges of her life has helped me to be more my own true self.

I love being a mom. My son Luke and my daughter Lane are my most precious of all gifts that I have ever received. With their partners I have my son In-law Rob and daughter of my heart with Luke's girlfriend Eleni and I am Granny Frannie to her daughter Eliana. I feel so blessed. My heart just continues to expand and fall in love.

Now to announce the news! My child is going to have a baby. What an incredible experience this is. My daughter Lane and her husband Rob are going to have a baby boy in October. I'm going to be a Grandma! How blessed I am to witness this new life growing in my daughter's womb. She is healthy and so happy to become a mother.

Yes, our life brings labor as we let go and feel more alive, clear and authentic. We can reclaim the happiness that resides within. With deep listening and loving guidance, we can go out and share the love that has birthed within our hearts.

Sit quietly and breathe yourself into this moment.

Hold your sadness and regret within your heart and lean in.

Deep down, underneath the anxiety, beneath the fear, there is a greater reality that is present.

Here within the silence your heart is touched'

You are blessed, you are forgiven, you are an angel.

Look around with your eyes open and notice the beauty calling you to remember who you truly are.

You are awake and alive.

You are loved.

Rejoice in the ability to be conscious and let the wisdom to know that even through the ups and downs, there is compassion.

Now feel yourself being held by your mother.

In a grateful heart, bow your head to your heart.

Now be loved and be love.

 

 Namasté,

Frannie

Happy Mother's Day! 

Lost in Love

I sit with my boyfriend Robert at the Krishna Das concert surrounded by 100’s of people chanting the names of God.  How easy it is to get lost in the spinning of our daily lives but this day I chose to un-plug from the world and listen to what my body needed. As I focus inward and sing the names of the Beloved, a power moves through and my heart melts wide open. In the stillness within a crowded arena, I feel a mysterious connection between my small, tender heart and the vast spirit of the Universe. The tears gently roll down my cheeks and in a quiet way I feel more alive than moments before. I know the yearning of this human heart of mine and even though life is chaotic, changing and sometimes messy, the way of the heart can draw me into the unknown where it’s shaky and vulnerable. I hear the spiritual Cupid whispering into my ear, “Let go, fall in love.”

I gaze over the crowd and hear Robert humming to the songs with his eyes closed and face turned upward in complete bliss. I listen to Krishna Das begin to speak of Christ who lost himself in love. All I can hear and feel inside of me is, lost in love, lost in love. I continue to soften as my gaze inward touches that tender little girl who knows the way to love.

As I write these words, I remember as a child, cutting out the Valentine’s cards. One by one I wrote the names of all my classmates. A moment where the passage of time felt like eternity and I couldn’t wait to receive those exciting red hearts or candies the next day. Sometimes my basket wasn’t as full as I returned home after school. Sometimes I felt sadness because I wasn’t given the heart from someone I liked, but loving the act of giving was a great practice for me. It was just another day to offer love in the simple kindness of the heart.

So here we are, another day to make love to the world, offering the gift of presence. I can fill myself up with pure unconditional tenderness and get lost in love and see the world with compassion. Maybe that’s enough, just to receive until we are so full and the reflection of our heart spills out into others. Just like that incredible ‘super blue blood moon’ that filled our night sky just days ago.

Happy Valentine’s Day My Beloveds

Love Frannie