Come Alive to the Magnificence of Your True Self

This beautiful spring brings so much color as the butterflies come to touch the petals of the incredible flowering plants that cascade in the garden. I look around and see beauty everywhere as the sun touches my skin and I delight in all the new growth.

May is my favorite month of the year. There is so much blooming all around me, not just in my gardens but in my life too! My house is getting fixed up! I had to move every bit of furniture out to refinish the old terrazzo floors. It has been like moving in some ways, putting all of the furnishings in a big pod in my driveway. The weeks leading up to the move, I purged. I let go of so much as I went through the closets that had to be emptied. I was ruthless in this task and now as I walk through the empty rooms, I am excited to have it painted. It truly is creating an opening for new life to emerge. Picking new paint colors and buying new furniture is so much fun. New life is being born through it all, within me and all around. My boyfriend Robert is moving in soon and how wonderful is that! Birth is so lovely as all these changes bring the unknown as I leap into the abyss once again.

Growth can be hard and laboring a new self can be very difficult at times. Maybe I am growing older in age yet through all of life's disappointments hurts and forgotten dreams that die, I realize that the greatest wisdom that life has brought me is to learn the lessons of my soul, however painful it is. Sometimes my mind can take me down and destroy the dreams that are still carefully placed in my heart. The hardships and grief that loss brings can beat me down until I have the courage to take its medicine and realize that the crisis was truly the initiation into the magnificence and fullness of self. I just think that every challenge has made me a better person and each day I wake up and reach for God. Here I pray to be guided and used as an instrument for more peace. Here I remember that meditation and prayer help me to face the darkness in our world so that I don't allow the resistance to spiral me down into the chaos and negativity. In my quiet contemplation, I allow the light of consciousness to shine on all that is within, so I can see the good too! There is so much to be grateful for.

Mother's Day is here! I hold my mom in my heart today, feeling the beauty of her spirit. I miss her, and wouldn't it be nice if she could just walk into my house right now. I talk to her all the time and listen to the ways she speaks to me through this world. The love never dies and even the hardships and challenges of her life has helped me to be more my own true self.

I love being a mom. My son Luke and my daughter Lane are my most precious of all gifts that I have ever received. With their partners I have my son In-law Rob and daughter of my heart with Luke's girlfriend Eleni and I am Granny Frannie to her daughter Eliana. I feel so blessed. My heart just continues to expand and fall in love.

Now to announce the news! My child is going to have a baby. What an incredible experience this is. My daughter Lane and her husband Rob are going to have a baby boy in October. I'm going to be a Grandma! How blessed I am to witness this new life growing in my daughter's womb. She is healthy and so happy to become a mother.

Yes, our life brings labor as we let go and feel more alive, clear and authentic. We can reclaim the happiness that resides within. With deep listening and loving guidance, we can go out and share the love that has birthed within our hearts.

Sit quietly and breathe yourself into this moment.

Hold your sadness and regret within your heart and lean in.

Deep down, underneath the anxiety, beneath the fear, there is a greater reality that is present.

Here within the silence your heart is touched'

You are blessed, you are forgiven, you are an angel.

Look around with your eyes open and notice the beauty calling you to remember who you truly are.

You are awake and alive.

You are loved.

Rejoice in the ability to be conscious and let the wisdom to know that even through the ups and downs, there is compassion.

Now feel yourself being held by your mother.

In a grateful heart, bow your head to your heart.

Now be loved and be love.

 

 Namasté,

Frannie

Happy Mother's Day! 

Union with Your Inner Being

Be content with what you have;

rejoice in the way things are.

When you realize there is nothing lacking,

the whole world belongs to you.  -Lao-Tzu

Being here now - worthy and in love with self. It's beautiful here. Right here in this moment now. 

 

Wherever we are is a blessed gift. Even in health challenges or loss. Even when the world outside of us is struggling. Even when our children are hurting. Even when life gives us the worst terrible news.

 

Even when life isn't exactly the way I want it to be, I realize that I wouldn't want to trade places with anyone. I can be content with who I am no matter what. It just helps to surrender to the way things are. 

So, I breathe in and allow life in. Breathe out and let go of the fear of the unknown.

 

How deeply moved I am by nature. It seems to hold me, whenever I enter the garden. Here I sit with my daughter in the backyard. It's Mother's Day and I watch her doing yoga when moments before she was in despair with her struggles about her new health challenges. I watch her like I watch the snowy white egret standing by my table - so close - I can take her beauty in with every detail, bringing me closer to what is real. All she needs is to be listened to and held. This love that has no conditions. This love fills me up like nothing else. 

 

It is this union with my inner being that holds all of me. Here I touch what is so human and real. How easy it is to slip into a mind that can keep me a prisoner of the past. 

 

I watch Lane move through her life with eyes of wisdom. I trust the journey. It's not always easy.

 

Being alive in the Now is what nature shows us. Being here in all our humanness is all we have. The past has been the escort of this presence, bringing us back home, into the only moment that is real. 

 

Life continues to flow and I might as well join the party of creation, as I sit inside this sacred holy place where I commune with what is here. How I look at it seems to be the ticket, to be a part of the flow and momentum that carries me into what will be. 

 

Loss happens to us all. Yet to me, it has served my evolution to become more. I am grateful that the doorway is open. I step through and watch it all unfold.

All my love,

Frannie

Partnering with Spirit

It's been a stormy and rainy day as I drive from the office to have dinner with my boyfriend Robert. There on the grass, parked is a white limousine. Today would have been my wedding anniversary to Steve and there it is, the road sign and symbol of our union. As I listen to my heart speaking to him, the dark heavy clouds are pouring down rain, as a bright sun peaks out of the opening and shines right on my car and the road I am driving on. Then the song that Luke sang at our wedding begins to play on the radio. My body begins to vibrate with truth chills as Steve's presence continues to make itself known. I line up in the moment and then this divine awareness becomes my beloved companion. It's not a phenomena to me. I invite my spirit loved ones to show up in my world at anytime. I feel their messages of love sent to me daily.

(drawing by Frannie Hoffman)

 

I love the quote from Yoko Ono when she was asked how she could bear being without John Lennon given they had spent 90% of their time together, her response was:

"Now we spend 100% of our time together."

 

The death of the body is not the death of love. It doesn't mean we don't grieve and feel the hurt but we can transcend the loss. When our hearts remain open to the flow of truth, the spirit can compensate for material loss. 

 

My connection to spirit's wisdom is natural and intimate. It feels like second nature to me and I believe that all the losses in my life have helped me to feel myself more fully and allow inner guidance or intuition to be my lifeline to freedom. If we can turn our attention inward to our heart instead of letting outside appearances overwhelm us, the Universe will show us what to do and where to go as we trust our own vibration.

 

My mother was a great teacher for me. She didn't listen to the doctor who told her that she couldn't have children. She climbed those steps of St. Joseph's Oratory in Quebec, praying as she knelt on every step, listening to her heart. She saw the crutches and wheel chairs that lined up on her path up the hill. Her pilgrimage was her own. She allowed her deepest desire to speak loudly. She believed she was born to have children. She listened to her inner calling and leaped with faith as she continued to give herself up to God. She knew her calling was to be a mother. Nothing stopped her from this deep spiritual connection to her heart. She had faith and her fears did not stop her.

 

That night my mother conceived triplet girls. My sisters and I were born and 2 years later so was my brother. 

 

My mother was an incredibly gifted and talented woman. She lived with a disease where her mind kept her in fear and so many days she was paralyzed with anxiety. Her suffering was unending and yet the joy of her children was the salve that soothed her brokenness. She was beautiful and cooking was love. She always had soup going on the stove or something mouth watering in the oven. She was a master at painting and creating centerpieces made of driftwood. Did I say how she loved her children? It is worth saying again. Maybe sometimes she loved us more than herself.

 

I wished she could have loved her own life more fully but yet in the end, she continued to be brave. It took great courage to let go of this world. She suffered with Alzheimer's and in her tormented days, she would look around her most favorite home, our cottage up north in Northern Ontario, and stare at all of her belongings surrounding her. The walls were adorned with the many oil paintings that she created through the years . My mother would cry out and plead " I want to go home. Please, you tell me these are my paintings and this is my favorite home, just take me home, nothing here is familiar." As I looked into her eyes she said, " I want to go home! "

 

At the time it was heartbreaking to listen to her pain and longing to remember her home. Now I believe that she was longing for her spiritual home. This place of comfort that no longer was inside her reality anymore. She was longing for that which seemed forgotten. 

 

Home for her was creating in the kitchen beautiful recipe's that made your mouth water just thinking about it. She showed her love through her cooking and sharing food. Her mother was the same. Food was love and that was something that I was always inspired by. I too love to cook and share love in this way. It is that feeling inside that makes you feel at home and having a pot of soup on the stove is something that just feels good. I love the feeling of cutting up veggies and throwing it all in a pot as I create this goodness that gives me life. Creating salads and dishes of all kinds is just a little piece of heaven for me. It doesn't matter if I didn't have enough money to shop for a big grocery, I would use what I had to create something that could feed others. It was a way to share love. 

 

Our mothers were our first home inside their womb. They are the music on the radio, the sun peaking through the rain clouds. They whisper sweet comfort during these life long journeys.

 

Today let us celebrate our mothers and mother figures in our life. Maybe they didn't always give us what we needed. These great woman helped to mould us and to be all that we are today. 

 

May we forgive our own fears when we forget how natural it is to breath and become more. We are here to bring life into us and let our bodies be the instrument to co-create a beautiful life. From the inside to the outside, let us leap into the moment with great abandon and share all that we receive.

 

Bowing to our mothers for we can receive life because this is our birthright! 

How blessed I am to be a mother.

 

Namaste,

Frannie