This Magnificent Love

 

“We all know the truth: more connects us than divides us. But in times of crisis, the wise build bridges, while the foolish build barriers. We must find a way to look after one another as if we were one single tribe.”- King T’Challa, from the Black Panther Marvel movie

Sometimes, when I forget that truth – that we are all “one single tribe” – I feel like I am left alone. These times of crisis, all times of crises, push us to face our own darkness, and sometimes we need to go inside and take down the walls we have erected to protect ourselves from pain or to insulate ourselves from being vulnerable. This Covid pandemic has stretched me and broken me wide open. When things get tough, it is so easy to fall asleep and forget this heart and mind that want to join with the Divine. Time and time again, I forget that all I have to do is soften my gaze out there, return to myself, and settle into what this moment brings me. It’s really all I want – to connect with what is causing me to feel this separation where I fear the future, the next moment, or the new relationship that is in front of me. So, I choose to go outside and be touched by nature where I can change my focus to my heart and lean in. She calls me by shining the sun through my window or sounding the chimes in my garden with her wind. Through this connection, I can be more committed to my inner path, as I feel my way through all these worries and breathe gently. It opens me to all that is coming my way.  So many people are divided by ideas and opinions. No matter the differences, we are much more alike when we live in the heart of compassion. So, I have learned to ask questions instead of making assumptions. And I can listen without having to be right. I let go of everything I think I know and allow the moment to be real. I can hold them with a spacious heart and a still mind. I meet them in the deepest part of my being where I have faced my own fears and shortcomings. Then the moment becomes a way to honor how precious life is, because I only have this time, this present moment with this person. I may never see them again. We don’t have to figure it out, just arrive in the moment open and willing to stand on the bridge together, unafraid because we trust in our own ability to live in the heart of the Beloved. Here we are one; here we are the same. In this present moment, we take refuge inside by being true to ourselves. We can be kind as we sit back and listen to that still small voice that guides us to wisdom. To stay conscious is to be an open heart without holding back or hiding so that we can expand our love to embrace all people. This is the miracle of relationships where we get to meet another soul and open to the wisdom that they share. As we think back, we appreciate what we may have taken for granted -- being with our loved ones, traveling without restrictions, loving with our whole selves. We have been cut off from the most natural way of being. We feel a physical discomfort when we are with someone we want to touch, hug, or kiss but cannot. With masks on and 6 feet of social distancing, we feel the awkwardness. Now that we truly understand loss, let’s blanket this world in our magnificent love. I have found ways to love from the deepest parts of myself. This love that is a divine power will link us all when we open to it and awaken to the truth that there is love in everything. This natural world that surrounds me offers gifts without conditions, and in the presence of this beauty that I am receiving, I feel love. I fill up with this true nature that lives inside of me, and I want to give it away as it fills to overflowing and spilling out. It becomes the silent prayer of my heart beaming out into the world. These bodies are used for communication, and as I unveil myself and look at the truth within, I am free to express all of who I am. In this union, I am a beacon of light for others. I breathe in and say Namaste, “I bow to the light in you.”

Look Within- A Brand New Year to Fall in Love with Life

"When you give thanks for what you already have, the corresponding manifestation is to expand and increase what you have. When you give thanks for what you don't have, as if you already had it, the corresponding manifestation is to attract and create it into your life." -Mike Dooley

 

Ram Dass died December 22, 2019. He was one of my teachers. He had a near-fatal stroke over 20 years ago that paralyzed him and hampered his speaking ability. It took away his freedom in his body, but it allowed him to become more compassionate and humble. He continued to reach deeper into his soul and allowed and received his God image as he shared love till his last breath.

He says in Be Here Now, one of his books and for me, a favorite,"Early in the journey you wonder how long the journey will take and whether you will make it in this lifetime. Later you will see that where you are going is HERE and you will arrive NOW... so you stop asking."His teachings, and through his living, he demonstrated that every situation in life is for God to use to do good. In his later years, he focused on aging and dying without fear.

Doors close all the time. Doors open all the time. Life presents us with one opportunity after another. And when you look at your cup as half full instead of half empty, you might see ten thousand ways to walk through these openings. Life brings all kinds of loss in different ways. As we work our way down life's path, gratitude helps to soften the blows and lighten the load of the burdens carried; even when we stumble and fall and as broken dreams stop us in our tracks.

            

All of life is sacred. When you can accept it, just as it is, you open a space to find the good in it. Through moments of contemplation and meditation, I can become so anchored inside my inner being that when the feeling of fear rises-up in the present moment, I can see where my mind is attached and then I can let it pass on by, just like the weather. It's the grasping that creates suffering. When I recognize what I am attached to, I can free myself from even the most difficult situations. How easy it is to let the negative mind get into a loop that keeps us stuck in the fear of what is instead of participating in the flow of life. The soul just accepts it without pushing it away.

            

The first step is to express these indwelling thoughts of negativity whatever way it works for you and to decide to feel good by being grateful in this present moment. Think of gratitude as a present that gets unwrapped the moment it is given. It's time to start living your dreams now as you fall in love with yourself and your life. 

Wishing you all a Happy New Year!

Namasté,

Frannie

Let Us Be Grateful for Our Precious Life

"Tell me, what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" -Mary Oliver 

 

Life is so very precious! I just spent time away in California to celebrate my grandson Theo's 1^stbirthday. How easy it is to be with him as I pause and become more present. He brings me into my heart without effort. I sit watching him. His big blue eyes and infectious laugh pulls me deeply inside where I let go of everything I think I need to do and just settle into the moment. Here in the living room I feel happy as a wave of peace enters me. I watch Theo try to walk, stumble, fall, cry, laugh and get up again and again.

 

As I ask myself how I choose to live my life right now, I breathe in and sit quietly. I meditate on the love, compassion and truth that is deeply inside of me now. With every heartbreak and unexpected experience that lifts my heart into joy, I can take a step into living what is next. Here I arrive, humbled to remember that in every moment, even if I stumble or fall, I have a choice to play, to sing, to open my eyes and feel the beauty of life that flows through. In this silence, everything that I need to know is revealed. 

What will I do with this one wild and precious life? 

Today, I settle into my heart and acknowledge how beautiful my family and friends are. Each one of you are like shining jewels in my life who have blessed my heart with kindness and sweet presence. When I stand in the sacred space that surrounds me, each breath and each touch, I will be mindful of all the details of my life and give thanks.

Step by step, moment by moment, breath by breath, 

I sense a quiet that embraces everything. 

I am the center of it all where everything is still.

I cannot find myself in those things of the world.

I pay attention to the language of Spirit.

I listen to the sweet sound of nothing.

This silence waits for me in between the words and ideas of my mind. 

My heart beats in this sacred place within my inner being. 

I can feel the touch of love that enters when I stay with me.

I surrender to this path that shines the light onto everything I do.

 

Namasté,

Frannie

Change as the All-Knowing Eye

Beauty and Love are as body and soul

Inexhaustible mine, and diamond- beyond price.

I loved his beauty and Love flamed from me.

I grew beautiful, Love whispered my name.

                                                                        -Rumi

 

We go along in our lives, one step at a time, one day at a time until, without warning, life takes a turn. It feels like a sudden slap in the face, or bonk on the head, or a subtle trembling deep inside that you can't put your finger on. You couldn't see it even if you had been warned because you trusted in the unfolding of your life so completely; trusted that in each moment you were taken care of. You couldn't receive it because it wasn't the time. This is the time; now is the time to open your eyes and your heart to the truth.

 

This moment, like a storm that comes out of nowhere on a perfectly sunny day, offers the opportunity to be grateful that you breathed into the warmth of the sun while it was there; that you could receive all it had to offer until it wasn't there anymore. Life happens and it doesn't always leave a good taste in your mouth. Sometimes the lingering blow, the change, the death of what was, shatters the illusions. Once broken, these illusions can dissolve and the clearing begins. The mind, so eager to give its opinions, its defenses, its logic, its story, begins to shout so loud until you surrender and let it all go. When you choose to move past the noise and insanity of the mind, you find the door to stillness. Here the quiet of the moment offers you a breath of fresh air. As you take it in, the space inside begins to soften its hold on the past and what was.      

 

I sit inside myself in the sweet aftermath of such a storm. As the light shines through the blinds in the kitchen, I take the bowl of soup and place it in front of me. The taste, the smell, the feel of this food, nurtures me. It is simply the moment giving to me the truth of what is, right here.

 

I feel my broken heart as I touch the profound feelings that are so raw inside. This ache draws me back into myself. Even though there is pain, I can meet it with compassion as I forgive myself and another for all the hurts experienced and caused. We are all human. Sometimes we miss the mark, other times we downright fail. Though we truly aren't perfect, we are all worthy to be loved and forgiven. In this moment, forgiveness is letting go of what was so that the ending can be a new beginning. This dark night of my soul lights my path back to this sacred journey of self-love.

 

No one is responsible for our happiness. If we allow ourselves to be dependent on anything or anyone in this way, it can turn into deep sorrow, shame, or regret. Within the arena of our own weakness, our intolerable guilt prevents us from taking responsibility. It obstructs our ability to see and to face our fears. When we become fearful, we can run or we can face the darkness and rise up. Blaming another for our pain takes us away from the truth that can set us free. We aren't here to be saved, nor are we here to save anyone. Every part of our humanness is part of the wholeness that is humanity. Accepting it all is easier said than done yet taking personal responsibility is necessary. Meeting yourself here is where true power lives.

Real happiness cannot be taken away by our darkness. The space within our heart is so vast, even more vast than the ever-changing sky. It is here that the incredible feelings of our unlovable and imperfect self are accepted and held in this presence. Everything is worthy to be here, and when we learn the lesson that our self-worth is not attached to another but is a part of this infinite love that is Divine, our heart will be broken wide open to allow rebirth into new life. As Franz Kafka says, "Everything you love, you will eventually lose, but in the end, love will return in a different form."

 

Change is constant, like the changing of seasons. Everything is temporary - people come in and out of our lives, the body has its ups and downs, the mind becomes obsessive and quiet, this world has calm waters and in the next moment, a Hurricane comes around the corner. Yet here, in the center of change is the all-knowing eye that sees with the heart that remembers that change can be beautiful!

Clearing Your Inner Path for Love to Bloom

"So come to the pond, or the river of your imagination, or the harbor of your longing. And put your lips to the world and live your life."- Mary Oliver

 

The gardens that have bloomed around me are exploding with colors. The birds are singing louder today as I watch a black bird scoop down on the patio in front of me, making a swooshing sound that gets my attention. The sky is covered with some clouds and the brilliant blue peeks through. I see like I am Dorothy waking up in Oz. I had cataract surgery a few weeks ago and the colors are breath taking. I am so grateful as I receive the aliveness of this day that awakens my inner senses and fills me with this beautiful feeling of belonging.  

 

I meet this day like an empty vessel. I am being filled by this spring day. This incredible way that nature reminds me to be in this solitude within as I keep company with my soul. This inner reality where I consciously begin to join with the rhythm of my own unique life within. Here I reacquaint myself consciously with the maternal, honoring and listening to my deepest needs.

 

The miracles are seen when I sit quiet for a while. Even though the loud sounds of the world begin to push on this private time, I lean in and get closer to the stillness in the center of myself. I begin to receive the miracle of this precious life. It wasn't easy going through the cataract surgery. I was high risk going into the operating room and surprised when I found out in the recovery room that the surgeon had to do an anterior vitrectomy. The healing process was more fragile because a few days later my retina did tear. The time to heal was a most precious gift. How grateful I am to have a partner, Robert, who holds me close and reminds me that all is well. My children who express to me their love in so many ways, gives me comfort as I witness the ways they take care of themselves. How proud I am to be their mother and now a Grandmother.

 

The gift of sight cannot be taken for granted as the beauty of the world fills me up with appreciation this day. It's Mother's Day weekend! I remember how brave my mother was when she lost her sight with macular degeneration. I remember all she had to touch within her own torment with Alzheimer's. I remember my mother today as I wipe from my memories all that seemed hard to watch as my heart opens compassionately to allow myself to melt into the deeply comforting energy of Divinity. This love nurtures and sustains me as I retreat inside my heart.  

 

I bow to you my mother as my inner sight gently touches her as I begin to see clearly the opening within. I begin to see how my mother would do the Russian dance and fall and laugh as she told stories of being woken up in the night while visiting her native land Czech Republic and in her night gown had to dance for the soldiers. I begin to laugh at some of her jokes that she would repeat through her life. I see these moments where my mother sang her polish favorites and cooked cabbage rolls, pierogi's and many other delicious food, always creating a beautiful home. She loved her children and grandchildren and cherished her moments to play with them and do art projects, dressing up and going shopping. How one life could be such a teacher for my own mothering! I celebrate my mother's life and how I learned to love the feminine spirit within me that is home inside my own heart always waiting to take care of me.

 

While I am writing these words, my daughter Lane Facetimes and there on the screen of my computer is my 6-month-old grandson Theo, smiling and laughing. The picture I see of him gazing at his mother brings me into this precious moment honoring my daughter Lane, who is a great, wise and loving new mom. 

 

Happy Mother's Day to you all! 

May we celebrate the gift of our birth and this life that has been given to us.

 

All my love,

Frannie 

Living Awake, Moment by Moment

"You are the sky. Everything else- it's the weather." - Pema Chodron

 

            Sometimes, in a heartbeat, our lives can turn upside down. Change can enter like a tornado bringing us the struggles and challenges that can humble us and move us to fall on our knees, asking for help.

            I found myself filled with emotion the other night when I woke up and walked into the living room in the darkness of the night. The intense feeling, like a tsunami came pushing through me as I fell on the couch, crying uncontrollable tears. The suffering of our humanity is pushing on my heart as I hold myself in this release. How grateful I am to empty this heart of mine that called me to surrender once again. Letting the tears flow, the crying just knows what to do. Empty of these feelings, I rest in this space where I become full of a peace that is truly beyond my own understanding. My emptiness brings calmness to every part of me. I rest on the couch in the early morning dawn, knowing that the suffering of our world is felt within. I am surrendered. Nothing to control. Why do I ever think that control would ever set me free? My past losses showed me how to be fully alive. I do not want to ever throw away the chances to love now.

            Life itself seems to humble me again and again as it moves me to my inner-life. Without love or compassion or even truth, it does not matter if I have all the needs of my physical life met and comforts of my daily living all in tack. If my love light is dim and I'm waiting for money in the bank to take care of myself, I realize that the generosity of love and compassion is all that is needed to keep me fully alive. And then "I go out and make the donuts." Being a counselor is my career but loving compassion is my purpose. It comes from my own inner focus to hold myself just where I am, flawed and fabulous. In this acceptance of my inner self, I can be conscious as I breathe. The veils seem to lift where I am awake. It is here in God's mind where I am fully free. The attachments to this world will never make me truly happy.

            I remember the feeling I had, lying beside my 4-month-old grandson as he looked right into my eyes. He touched my face and pulled me closer as I kissed his cheek. He begins to laugh the way when you are tickled, and you can't stop it if you tried. It's contagious. I laughed with him and he looked deeply into my eyes with a sparkle that lights up my heart. It's as if I can see the whole world through his gaze. Pure joy filled the moment as his whole-body giggled. Now, just thinking about it, the feeling of happiness softens the sadness, despair or depression that ever was. All the fears and worries wash away. It seems to dissolve any toxic emotion or anxiety and there is a deep connection to real- life right here, right now. No medicine is better than laughing from the belly and little Theo brings me to it so naturally. 

            My friend David Sears let go into the Divine presence, Feb. 8^th, 2019, in the early morning. His focus was on the life that continues beyond the body, the transition into the sweetest embrace of Spirit. In his last days, he welcomed death as he welcomed you into his breath. Even though his body was filled with cancer, he said, "it is all wonderful!" I witnessed him as he let his heart wrap around the mystery as if he was having a love affair with his own transition. His commitment to conscious dying brought me into conscious living.

            I sit at the restaurant with my friend and my dog as I watch a little bird coming up to Mollie as she plays with this new friend. A little bird, so joyously hopping around like hide and seek. I feel inside my heart, it's David, my friend, my teacher of living life in love till his transition. "Be happy, be happy- it's wonderful! I hear it inside my mind. If he could, he would shine his spirit through this world to say hi. He loved my Mollie so much that he went out and got his puppy, Sweet Pea.

            David was living awake moment by moment before he slipped out of his body. He modeled for me that I have the choice to let go each day of the attachments to this world of form. To live in the presence of the Divine is like sinking into the deepest ocean of well- being. Here is where we are called to be.

            Happiness is our birthright. When we are in harmony inside, independent of the chaotic conditions outside, truly our minds have let go of interpreting the experience. We just begin to move into the flow of life as it is. The grieving heart takes a break; we make a choice to take off the heavy garments of sadness and sorrow and look in the eyes of this world like a beautiful spring day calling us forth to play. We let go and surrender to the moment at hand where we can walk into a new state of being and in the meantime just get outside and go for a walk.           

          I am deeply guided as my inward focus brings me into my intuitive nature where I embrace it all. It's more than just understanding it with my head. My heart feels the experience of living fully. I look up at the clear blue sky as a new world inside of me is being created.

 

Be awake as you reach into what is here.

Let go and be love now.

 

Blessings and Love, 

Frannie

Miracle on 12th Street

I hear him waking up in the other room. His sounds stir in me an excitement to begin this Christmas morning, bathed in the reflection of his presence. Theo, my 2 month old grandson has brought so much joy and laughter into this house on 12th street. This holiday time spent here at my daughter and son in laws home in California with my family has been filled with the miracle of new life.

To watch this precious baby boy’s face as he sees the world all around him. He reaches for the toys hanging in front of him as he opens his fists for the first time. His legs moving to the sounds of Uncle Luke’s original song, Jambalaya of Love that Theo has heard since he was in the womb or the bursts of laughter that come out of this little baby as he screams for joy seeing the face of his mother or father. Then Auntie Mena arrives and the look on his face is of a love that is timeless as she sings the song written just for him. 

Little Theo lifts his hand up to his face for the very first time and stares with a look of wonder. Walking in the park with him as he lays in the pram gazing up at the trees and the blue skies- this first glance at this incredible nature mirroring to him the beauty of creation. I push him up and down the boardwalk as I look at his perfect face- what is he thinking as he sees the birds flying above him. I can’t get enough of him as I look at his smiles that light up my heart. Such a miracle this new life is as my heart fills with so much love that comes so freely in this moment that seems to last for eternity.

It’s a Christmas like no other. I remember my children as babies, yet I know I wasn’t as present as I am at this time of my life. There are moments that I think to myself, “I wish I knew then what I know now, how much easier life would have been.” My daughter is a great mother and Rob so comfortable as a dad. I watch them as they naturally take care of this bundle of pure love.

The mystery of life continues to humble me as I take in all these miracles that are constantly showing me how the spirit of Christmas can live in my heart everyday if I let it. Each day we have an opportunity to renew our sense of the sacred. There are signs of love reaching to touch our hearts where ever we are, as this light is shining in everything we do. 

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to you all!
May Peace fill your hearts each moment of this new year!

Blessings and Love,
Nannie Frannie

Come Alive to the Magnificence of Your True Self

This beautiful spring brings so much color as the butterflies come to touch the petals of the incredible flowering plants that cascade in the garden. I look around and see beauty everywhere as the sun touches my skin and I delight in all the new growth.

May is my favorite month of the year. There is so much blooming all around me, not just in my gardens but in my life too! My house is getting fixed up! I had to move every bit of furniture out to refinish the old terrazzo floors. It has been like moving in some ways, putting all of the furnishings in a big pod in my driveway. The weeks leading up to the move, I purged. I let go of so much as I went through the closets that had to be emptied. I was ruthless in this task and now as I walk through the empty rooms, I am excited to have it painted. It truly is creating an opening for new life to emerge. Picking new paint colors and buying new furniture is so much fun. New life is being born through it all, within me and all around. My boyfriend Robert is moving in soon and how wonderful is that! Birth is so lovely as all these changes bring the unknown as I leap into the abyss once again.

Growth can be hard and laboring a new self can be very difficult at times. Maybe I am growing older in age yet through all of life's disappointments hurts and forgotten dreams that die, I realize that the greatest wisdom that life has brought me is to learn the lessons of my soul, however painful it is. Sometimes my mind can take me down and destroy the dreams that are still carefully placed in my heart. The hardships and grief that loss brings can beat me down until I have the courage to take its medicine and realize that the crisis was truly the initiation into the magnificence and fullness of self. I just think that every challenge has made me a better person and each day I wake up and reach for God. Here I pray to be guided and used as an instrument for more peace. Here I remember that meditation and prayer help me to face the darkness in our world so that I don't allow the resistance to spiral me down into the chaos and negativity. In my quiet contemplation, I allow the light of consciousness to shine on all that is within, so I can see the good too! There is so much to be grateful for.

Mother's Day is here! I hold my mom in my heart today, feeling the beauty of her spirit. I miss her, and wouldn't it be nice if she could just walk into my house right now. I talk to her all the time and listen to the ways she speaks to me through this world. The love never dies and even the hardships and challenges of her life has helped me to be more my own true self.

I love being a mom. My son Luke and my daughter Lane are my most precious of all gifts that I have ever received. With their partners I have my son In-law Rob and daughter of my heart with Luke's girlfriend Eleni and I am Granny Frannie to her daughter Eliana. I feel so blessed. My heart just continues to expand and fall in love.

Now to announce the news! My child is going to have a baby. What an incredible experience this is. My daughter Lane and her husband Rob are going to have a baby boy in October. I'm going to be a Grandma! How blessed I am to witness this new life growing in my daughter's womb. She is healthy and so happy to become a mother.

Yes, our life brings labor as we let go and feel more alive, clear and authentic. We can reclaim the happiness that resides within. With deep listening and loving guidance, we can go out and share the love that has birthed within our hearts.

Sit quietly and breathe yourself into this moment.

Hold your sadness and regret within your heart and lean in.

Deep down, underneath the anxiety, beneath the fear, there is a greater reality that is present.

Here within the silence your heart is touched'

You are blessed, you are forgiven, you are an angel.

Look around with your eyes open and notice the beauty calling you to remember who you truly are.

You are awake and alive.

You are loved.

Rejoice in the ability to be conscious and let the wisdom to know that even through the ups and downs, there is compassion.

Now feel yourself being held by your mother.

In a grateful heart, bow your head to your heart.

Now be loved and be love.

 

 Namasté,

Frannie

Happy Mother's Day! 

Lost in Love

I sit with my boyfriend Robert at the Krishna Das concert surrounded by 100’s of people chanting the names of God.  How easy it is to get lost in the spinning of our daily lives but this day I chose to un-plug from the world and listen to what my body needed. As I focus inward and sing the names of the Beloved, a power moves through and my heart melts wide open. In the stillness within a crowded arena, I feel a mysterious connection between my small, tender heart and the vast spirit of the Universe. The tears gently roll down my cheeks and in a quiet way I feel more alive than moments before. I know the yearning of this human heart of mine and even though life is chaotic, changing and sometimes messy, the way of the heart can draw me into the unknown where it’s shaky and vulnerable. I hear the spiritual Cupid whispering into my ear, “Let go, fall in love.”

I gaze over the crowd and hear Robert humming to the songs with his eyes closed and face turned upward in complete bliss. I listen to Krishna Das begin to speak of Christ who lost himself in love. All I can hear and feel inside of me is, lost in love, lost in love. I continue to soften as my gaze inward touches that tender little girl who knows the way to love.

As I write these words, I remember as a child, cutting out the Valentine’s cards. One by one I wrote the names of all my classmates. A moment where the passage of time felt like eternity and I couldn’t wait to receive those exciting red hearts or candies the next day. Sometimes my basket wasn’t as full as I returned home after school. Sometimes I felt sadness because I wasn’t given the heart from someone I liked, but loving the act of giving was a great practice for me. It was just another day to offer love in the simple kindness of the heart.

So here we are, another day to make love to the world, offering the gift of presence. I can fill myself up with pure unconditional tenderness and get lost in love and see the world with compassion. Maybe that’s enough, just to receive until we are so full and the reflection of our heart spills out into others. Just like that incredible ‘super blue blood moon’ that filled our night sky just days ago.

Happy Valentine’s Day My Beloveds

Love Frannie